"You certainly are doing things at the last minute," my son said to me this morning when I told him that we were cleaning house today along with making cookies. Is it possible that the irony of this statement is lost on him? If anyone were to look at my life right now, they would be astonished to see the turn of events and how we are trying to hold it all together and still make Christmas happen. Let me explain.
Last year, my husband lost his job. After 10 months of looking, he took a job that was way beneath him, but he saw as what he had to do. The job doesn't pay the bills, but he felt that he had to take it. Then a few weeks into the job, he had a horrendous accident on the job, which could have left him dead, and took away our good car. We still have the other car, but it's hard for 4 people to get around town on one car and keep the family going. We're doing it, but it's incredibly difficult. The accident left us with numerous medical bills, for which, thankfully, we have insurance, but I had previous medical bills for which there was NO insurance. Then I had surgery in October for the issue that sent me to the hospital several times. This time, I had insurance. But even having insurance is no cure for the part of the medical bills that we have yet to cover.
Then there is school. I am coming up on my last full semester, and I had no way to pay for it. After I broke down in front of the administrators of the program, it was suggested to me that I file an appeal on financial aid so I can finish school. I did, and the aid was granted, thank goodness. But I still have 6 months to get through before I can find a job, so the saga continues.
I just finished my first clinical rotation a week ago, and have been busy being sick and trying to get the rest of the family well again, and making kielbasa, pierogi and kolache for the pre-orders I have for Christmas. The kielbasa is coming out fine, but the others aren't. I decided to cancel the remaining pierogi and kolache orders to take the pressure off me. Good decision. But I still have to make them for us, which I will do today and tomorrow.
"You certainly are doing things at the last minute." I'm still astonished by the words. Right now, I am taking a precious few minutes to write this entry, in between cleaning the kitchen and starting on cookies. The only reason I am taking this time is to catch my breath. I had a cold shower this morning because I let everyone else get theirs first. I made breakfast, did the dishes, and started cleaning the kitchen before my shower. I very rarely ask for everyone to help me clean the house, but it has become apparent to me that more than one person lives here, so more than one person is going to have to help, no matter how much they would like to sit in their bedrooms and play on their computers or sit on the couch watching a game. Really now...
*I* don't have time to sit. I still have Christmas to do.
I have been ordering gifts a little at a time. I wrap them as they arrive, but there is no fancy ribbon making this year, and no To/From tags. I am writing on the packages with marker. Yesterday, I took everyone out to get new shoes. When your shoes get worn, it's time to replace them, even if you have to use part of your Christmas money. And then there are glasses. Steve and Jason both need new ones, so that is part of their Christmas too. *sigh* There will be remarkably few gifts under the tree this year. But I am hoping that it is enough, and that they understand how much I had to give up to make this happen.
Am I doing things late this year? I guess the answer depends on your point of view. In my eyes, I am doing them at exactly the right time, because now is all I have. Once Christmas is over, life will go back to normal, and I can once again worry about whether or not we will still have a house next month at this time. I try not to worry, but I have to wonder why this is all happening now. Hopefully, my husband will have a new job in another week, as he had an interview that was extremely promising. So... fingers crossed for now.
But why all of a sudden is everything so urgent? Did we have to get to this point before we decided never to be in this situation again? Maybe we have to get smarter so we don't have to work so hard. At least the house will be clean.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
It's Always Something
"Well, Jane, it just goes to show you, it's always something--if it ain't one thing, it's another." Roseanne Roseannadanna
In my life, it seems to be exactly that, especially since I started college in 2010. Every semester, I was greeted with a life-altering challenge that would have brought a lesser person to his knees. Sometimes, I was tempted to look at the heavens and scream, "WHY??? WHY??? WHY??? Why NOW when life is slipping away from me???" And it continues this semester. Let me give you an idea of what I've dealt with.
Fall Semester 2010 - Our cat, Shelby, died. It was in October, in the midst of all the pre-reqs I was taking to get into the Physical Therapist Assistant program at Southwest. We were all devastated, but that didn't compare to what was to follow in the succeeding months.
Between the fall semester of 2010 and spring semester of 2011, my Gidget died five days before Christmas. I was crushed. Next semester please!
Spring 2011 - Another semester of pre-reqs. Tucker had to be put down due to a spinal injury that made it impossible for him to ever walk again. The pain lingers. We still talk about Tucker almost every day.
Summer 2011 - I was turned down for the PTA program and had to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I decided to finish my Associates' Degree and took more classes that are needed to get a bachelor's degree in Tennessee. Then Sophie died unexpectedly in my arms on July 23. She was only 11 months old. In case you're counting, that's 4 fur children in 9 months.
Fall 2011 - No more fur children died. Thank goodness. But we were still reeling from it. Despite it all, I had attended all my classes and kept up my grades. Steve's boss is making our lives hell with cutting his salary and then losing health care. I still hate that man and wish him all the evil he has visited upon us and everyone else he has screwed. We rescued a pregnant dog which was brought to the shelter in the trunk of a car. Great people we have down here... in the TRUNK of a CAR!!! She was emaciated. I fed her 4 times a day to get her strength up. Five days later, she gave birth to 7 wonderful, healthy puppies. The first one left in November, to a lot of tears. The others followed in a couple of weeks, but we kept Toby and Bella, the mom.
Spring 2012 - We lost the website due to Steve's boss' conniving ways. I graduated with my Associates' Degree and was accepted into the University of Memphis. I decided to choose nursing as my profession. I chose wrong. Steve's salary was cut again for the third time. I was encouraging him to find something else. In the meantime, the scumbag who ripped me out of the expenses for the puppies, decided to accuse me of stealing checks from her (which was the farthest from the truth you can get), and she sued me. She had people lie for her and the judge believed her. That is the last time I help someone out. They can all fend for themselves. Blocked them all and have a little surprise for the instigator of it just before we leave Memphis for good. Revenge is better served up cold.
Summer 2012 - Didn't have any classes, but Steve lost his job of 33 years due to his boss' ego and conniving ways. We are still recovering.
Fall 2012 - A hellacious semester of nursing school culminated in hemorrhaging, causing a trip to the Emergency Room. They didn't do anything to help me except keep me a long time and send me home with a pat on my head. I quit nursing school and vowed to go back to Southwest to see if I could get into the PTA program once again. I didn't think I would be accepted, so I kept on truckin'.
Spring 2013 - As I said, I didn't think I would be accepted into the PTA program, so this time, I was prepared with a Plan B and a Plan C. I had started at Concorde's OTA program, and on my very first day, I received a text from Steve, telling me I had a certified letter from Southwest. My response was to tear that sucker open and don't make me wait! His next text said "Congratulations! You were accepted!" I waited until the end of class and left Concorde, never to look back. In the meantime, Jason's trusty Toyota pickup truck took a dump and was gone forever and the former bookkeeper from Steve's former job lied during a deposition and we had to dismiss the case. She'll get hers.
Summer 2013 - I started the PTA program, and Steve started a job that has taken a lot out of everyone. On August 21, two days before the birthday that I never had, and just a few days more before the start of the next semester, Steve was stung in the back of the neck by two yellowjackets while on the job. He passed out behind the wheel and our Maxima was destroyed. So now we have 1 vehicle, where 6 months ago, we had 3. We have no money to get another one.
Fall 2013 - This semester seems to be the worst thus far. Firstly, Steve's job is taking 80 hours a week out of him and throwing our household into turmoil. First, it doesn't pay the bills. Second, we have 3 people who have to go to different locations every day. Jason is looking for a job, so occasionally he has to go on an interview, which means more complications in our traffic situation. Secondly, It took 3 months for Southwest to get my financial aid in order. I wasted a lot of time waiting in line at the financial aid office. Lastly, I have to have surgery on October 11, right in the middle of my semester. I can't miss any days, so it is being done over my fall break.
I keep wondering when life is going to smooth out for me. I have other plans for my life than what I have been presented with here. It's been a real joy (sic) to have to deal with all of this. Sometimes I wonder if this is meant to scare me off (of school) or to see how badly I want it. But it's always something, isn't it, Roseanne?
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Once Upon a Lifetime Ago
Where to start...
Things have gone terribly wrong in the last 12 years. I have been sitting here, trying to remember the last time I was happy... the last time I was really, truly, incandescently happy. Know what? I'm going to have to dig down deep for that one. Let me tell you why.
I love snow. Love it. I loved it when I lived up north, and still love it even though I live in the south. I have missed regular snowfalls for over 30 years. I miss that period of time when the body slows down at night and says "For goodness sake, please climb under a comforter and close your eyes." I miss sleeping deeply and I miss waking up refreshed. I sleep best when there is snow on the ground. Snow rarely visits where I live, so I haven't slept well in over 30 years.
The issue with my inability to sleep began when I moved down here. If that were the only thing bothering me, it would still be a lot, but there is more. I find Memphis to be a very hostile place to live. For anyone. The women are backstabbers and the men are boorish. I have found very few people here that I would care to associate with on my own time. There are the "haves" and the "have nots." Period. There isn't that wonderful mix of everyone trying to get along like you have in Chicago. In my hometown, if you don't help people out, your car will sit on the ice and no one will care if you have to get to an appointment. Here, it's every man/woman for themselves and screw everyone else. Nice.
This is not to say that there are NO kind people down here. I have found a Homesteading Group that I enjoy. Most of them have the same values that I do, and we patronize each others' homemade goods. We sell, barter and trade. I do enjoy that. I do not enjoy "no-shows". I feel sorry for them because I keep a list of who has been a no-show and they will never get to buy from me. Their loss, not mine. I don't deal with people who stand me up... not even once. But the majority of the homesteaders are not like that, and I enjoy not only selling and bartering with them, but I look forward to reading their posts and seeing what they are offering as well.
That said, there is a really raw element down here that I am not comfortable with, and will be leaving just as soon as possible when I'm done with school. Have I mentioned that I'm sick of being in school? Not yet? Okay, I'll come back to that. The element I'm talking about is the low-down, dirty, egg-sucking dogs that think they can do anything to anyone and it's just fine, thank you very much. You people don't deserve to live. You don't even deserve to walk in my shadow. I'm so much better than you and I'll be glad to leave you behind. You don't take care of your houses and you expect the world to support you. No, you expect the world to bow down, kiss your ass and then willingly hand over everything we have worked so hard for. Hmmm... sounds suspiciously like Congress. But I digress, thankfully.
Yes, I'm tired of being in school. I'm tired of pushing so hard. My brain hurts. I still have 8 months of this to go. I hope I make it through, but I'm not even sure that I want to go into this profession anymore. However, I don't have time for any more do-overs, so I'm going to stick this out and hope for the best... IF financial aid will ever fix my account. What does it take... an act of God to get it worked out??? I've never had this much trouble getting it arranged and posted before. I don't know who is to blame here... the University of Memphis for their "stellar" customer service in getting my transcript sent over, or Southwest Tennessee Community College for their "sitting on my brain" mentality. Wish I had a job like that where I could just ignore everything and everyone. No, I don't. They can have it.
So when did it all go so terribly wrong? Hm. Twelve years ago, my grandmother and my mother were both alive. My brother was still alive. I had not yet gotten sick, but I guess I have to go back even farther than that to find the root of all of this. I know that I miss the north, and I miss the northwoods. If and when I ever get there, I will never look back. I think the secret to being happy is to be the place you want to be and not have to constantly struggle to get there. If you are living where you want to live, any other issues that come up are merely annoyances. I have always said that I didn't know if I wanted to live in Chicago and wish I was in the northwoods or live in the northwoods and wish I was in Chicago. I think if you are where your thoughts drift to, then there is a kind of peaceful completion in your soul, and you can go on to do great things. Or not. Just be.
That's me. I want to just be. I want to leave it all behind and go watch the northern lights come out at night. I want to sit at the lakeshore with my morning cup of java and listen to the lake wake up. I want to feel normal again. I want to be able to feel love in my soul again. I want to enjoy music again. Most of all, I want to just be. Once upon a lifetime ago... I could do just that. Simplicity. Peace. Silence. That's just a little something I'm working on, so be gentle with me. I'm doing the best I can.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Things have gone terribly wrong in the last 12 years. I have been sitting here, trying to remember the last time I was happy... the last time I was really, truly, incandescently happy. Know what? I'm going to have to dig down deep for that one. Let me tell you why.
I love snow. Love it. I loved it when I lived up north, and still love it even though I live in the south. I have missed regular snowfalls for over 30 years. I miss that period of time when the body slows down at night and says "For goodness sake, please climb under a comforter and close your eyes." I miss sleeping deeply and I miss waking up refreshed. I sleep best when there is snow on the ground. Snow rarely visits where I live, so I haven't slept well in over 30 years.
The issue with my inability to sleep began when I moved down here. If that were the only thing bothering me, it would still be a lot, but there is more. I find Memphis to be a very hostile place to live. For anyone. The women are backstabbers and the men are boorish. I have found very few people here that I would care to associate with on my own time. There are the "haves" and the "have nots." Period. There isn't that wonderful mix of everyone trying to get along like you have in Chicago. In my hometown, if you don't help people out, your car will sit on the ice and no one will care if you have to get to an appointment. Here, it's every man/woman for themselves and screw everyone else. Nice.
This is not to say that there are NO kind people down here. I have found a Homesteading Group that I enjoy. Most of them have the same values that I do, and we patronize each others' homemade goods. We sell, barter and trade. I do enjoy that. I do not enjoy "no-shows". I feel sorry for them because I keep a list of who has been a no-show and they will never get to buy from me. Their loss, not mine. I don't deal with people who stand me up... not even once. But the majority of the homesteaders are not like that, and I enjoy not only selling and bartering with them, but I look forward to reading their posts and seeing what they are offering as well.
That said, there is a really raw element down here that I am not comfortable with, and will be leaving just as soon as possible when I'm done with school. Have I mentioned that I'm sick of being in school? Not yet? Okay, I'll come back to that. The element I'm talking about is the low-down, dirty, egg-sucking dogs that think they can do anything to anyone and it's just fine, thank you very much. You people don't deserve to live. You don't even deserve to walk in my shadow. I'm so much better than you and I'll be glad to leave you behind. You don't take care of your houses and you expect the world to support you. No, you expect the world to bow down, kiss your ass and then willingly hand over everything we have worked so hard for. Hmmm... sounds suspiciously like Congress. But I digress, thankfully.
Yes, I'm tired of being in school. I'm tired of pushing so hard. My brain hurts. I still have 8 months of this to go. I hope I make it through, but I'm not even sure that I want to go into this profession anymore. However, I don't have time for any more do-overs, so I'm going to stick this out and hope for the best... IF financial aid will ever fix my account. What does it take... an act of God to get it worked out??? I've never had this much trouble getting it arranged and posted before. I don't know who is to blame here... the University of Memphis for their "stellar" customer service in getting my transcript sent over, or Southwest Tennessee Community College for their "sitting on my brain" mentality. Wish I had a job like that where I could just ignore everything and everyone. No, I don't. They can have it.
So when did it all go so terribly wrong? Hm. Twelve years ago, my grandmother and my mother were both alive. My brother was still alive. I had not yet gotten sick, but I guess I have to go back even farther than that to find the root of all of this. I know that I miss the north, and I miss the northwoods. If and when I ever get there, I will never look back. I think the secret to being happy is to be the place you want to be and not have to constantly struggle to get there. If you are living where you want to live, any other issues that come up are merely annoyances. I have always said that I didn't know if I wanted to live in Chicago and wish I was in the northwoods or live in the northwoods and wish I was in Chicago. I think if you are where your thoughts drift to, then there is a kind of peaceful completion in your soul, and you can go on to do great things. Or not. Just be.
That's me. I want to just be. I want to leave it all behind and go watch the northern lights come out at night. I want to sit at the lakeshore with my morning cup of java and listen to the lake wake up. I want to feel normal again. I want to be able to feel love in my soul again. I want to enjoy music again. Most of all, I want to just be. Once upon a lifetime ago... I could do just that. Simplicity. Peace. Silence. That's just a little something I'm working on, so be gentle with me. I'm doing the best I can.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Thursday, September 12, 2013
School Daze and The Lone Car Blues
Life has been tough since we lost our Maxima in a car accident a few weeks ago, but indulge me as I ponder the complexities we now face. Having only one set of wheels, when at this time last year we had three sets, is difficult on so many levels.
Being without wheels has taken an enormous toll on my ability to participate in study groups and extra activities at school. It's not that I want to participate really, as the classwork and studying takes about all the energy I have. I study late into the night (an unknown for me) and then I go to bed, only to start it all over again in the morning. Someone has to drive me to class in the morning, five days a week. And someone has to drive me home. Most of the time, Steve comes to get me, but that takes away from his new job and I feel bad about that. Sometimes I stay to work on techniques that I have to learn for practicals. I have a great lab partner that brings me home when we stay to work. But that's not the end of it.
Rhys has to get to and from school as well. He is on another campus in town, and his schedule is completely different from mine, so it's another delivery and pickup that Steve has to take care of. That means more time away from his new job. Then there is the matter of Jason looking for a job. If he needs to go to an interview, it throws another monkey wrench into the mix. Jason also ran all of the errands during the day when we had another vehicle. That can't happen now, so it's being done in the evenings and on weekends. It's an unusual circumstance for us and one I'm not enjoying. You see, I get the brunt of everyone's frustration when I walk through the door.
I'm not being blamed for our lack of a car, but when everyone feels free to dump on me, it makes it very difficult for me to focus on what I have to do. Have I mentioned that my financial aid is STILL being held up because either: The University of Memphis is STILL holding onto my transcript or the financial aid office at Southwest is doing their usual "sit on your brains" exercise. What to do, what to do.
I wish there was an easy answer for this. We don't have money for another car and no way to pay back a loan if we took one out. I have only 2 weeks until I have to make some kind of payment on my account at college, and financial aid should have taken care of it already, but here I am still waiting for it. The only answer I have right now is that I have to stay in school or nothing will ever change. We will never be able to move north and get that cottage on a lake, and we will have to stay here, with low pay and less than optimal working conditions. Somehow it all has to work out. I don't have any real answers, except to keep on plugging. I need some help though. Are you listening, God?
So here I am, trying to work through my frustrations without taking them out on anyone. It's tough because not only do I not have anyone I can dump on, but I have to be the pillar that my family needs AND keep going in school. I don't have much longer... just until the end of May and then taking my board exam in July. But it's the getting there that is working against me. Financial aid is a real problem right now and if that were resolved, that would be a major stressor off me. Exams, practicals and assignments are all stressors as well, and I am doing the best I can to make all the pieces come together.
All I can do is try. And I am. There is an exam tomorrow morning and I'm as prepared as I can be for right now. I have a policy that I stop studying the night before an exam and give myself some time off to relax. Then I go to bed early and get a good night's sleep. I get up either around 3am or 4am, depending on how I feel. Then I study for about another hour or so and get ready to do battle. It's worked in the past, and all I can do is hope it works this time too. But it sure wouldn't hurt to have an angel on my shoulder tomorrow. Are you listening, God?
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Being without wheels has taken an enormous toll on my ability to participate in study groups and extra activities at school. It's not that I want to participate really, as the classwork and studying takes about all the energy I have. I study late into the night (an unknown for me) and then I go to bed, only to start it all over again in the morning. Someone has to drive me to class in the morning, five days a week. And someone has to drive me home. Most of the time, Steve comes to get me, but that takes away from his new job and I feel bad about that. Sometimes I stay to work on techniques that I have to learn for practicals. I have a great lab partner that brings me home when we stay to work. But that's not the end of it.
Rhys has to get to and from school as well. He is on another campus in town, and his schedule is completely different from mine, so it's another delivery and pickup that Steve has to take care of. That means more time away from his new job. Then there is the matter of Jason looking for a job. If he needs to go to an interview, it throws another monkey wrench into the mix. Jason also ran all of the errands during the day when we had another vehicle. That can't happen now, so it's being done in the evenings and on weekends. It's an unusual circumstance for us and one I'm not enjoying. You see, I get the brunt of everyone's frustration when I walk through the door.
I'm not being blamed for our lack of a car, but when everyone feels free to dump on me, it makes it very difficult for me to focus on what I have to do. Have I mentioned that my financial aid is STILL being held up because either: The University of Memphis is STILL holding onto my transcript or the financial aid office at Southwest is doing their usual "sit on your brains" exercise. What to do, what to do.
I wish there was an easy answer for this. We don't have money for another car and no way to pay back a loan if we took one out. I have only 2 weeks until I have to make some kind of payment on my account at college, and financial aid should have taken care of it already, but here I am still waiting for it. The only answer I have right now is that I have to stay in school or nothing will ever change. We will never be able to move north and get that cottage on a lake, and we will have to stay here, with low pay and less than optimal working conditions. Somehow it all has to work out. I don't have any real answers, except to keep on plugging. I need some help though. Are you listening, God?
So here I am, trying to work through my frustrations without taking them out on anyone. It's tough because not only do I not have anyone I can dump on, but I have to be the pillar that my family needs AND keep going in school. I don't have much longer... just until the end of May and then taking my board exam in July. But it's the getting there that is working against me. Financial aid is a real problem right now and if that were resolved, that would be a major stressor off me. Exams, practicals and assignments are all stressors as well, and I am doing the best I can to make all the pieces come together.
All I can do is try. And I am. There is an exam tomorrow morning and I'm as prepared as I can be for right now. I have a policy that I stop studying the night before an exam and give myself some time off to relax. Then I go to bed early and get a good night's sleep. I get up either around 3am or 4am, depending on how I feel. Then I study for about another hour or so and get ready to do battle. It's worked in the past, and all I can do is hope it works this time too. But it sure wouldn't hurt to have an angel on my shoulder tomorrow. Are you listening, God?
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Angels Among Us
I believe. Yes, I believe in angels.
We've had it rough for the past 10 years, my family and I. There have been family losses, job losses and opportunity losses. We've had health challenges, financial challenges and emotional challenges. Most people would not have come through all of this in one piece. But we are not most people, and we are protected by angels.
Yes, I believe in angels. If there was ever any doubt, it vanished last week when my husband had a life-threatening event and almost lost his life. Wednesday started out as any normal day. Well, as normal as they could be since Steve started his new job. This job has put us on different schedules and has become taxing on all of us. Anyway, I said goodbye that morning with a kiss and my usual "have a good day." What I didn't realize is that everything that matters to you can be taken away in the blink of an eye.
Wednesday was three days until the start of classes, and I was looking forward (sic) to sitting in the financial aid melting pot for 3 1/2 hours. Once finished, I was on my way to getting my parking decal renewed, when I received a call from a number I didn't recognize. Normally, I will let those go to voice mail, but the prefix on the number had me thinking that it could have something to do with school, so I picked up. What I heard next was not what I expected.
The voice at the other end of the phone was from someone at the Trauma Center telling me that my husband of 30 years had been in an accident and was in their care. I was strangely calm, as if this was something planned and expected. I listened as he explained what happened and my only question was "Is he alive?" The answer was yes, and he was alert and somewhat oriented. I could speak to him if I wished. Well, hell YES I want to speak to him! It was then that the story started to piece together.
Steve told me that he was at a client's house on the front porch when he was stung in the back of the neck by two yellow jackets. Steve is deathly allergic to those stings, but I was still unprepared for what he told me. He got in the car, started to drive, and about 3 blocks later, started to lose his vision and decided to pull over and call me. Thank God that didn't happen. Let me explain.
If Steve had been successful in pulling the car over and putting it in Park, no one would know that there was anything wrong and he would have died. His blood pressure had dropped and he went into anaphylactic shock behind the wheel. Since he did not get it to park, the car hit a telephone pole at what must have been a good clip, because it was severed into 3 pieces. The windshield was smashed. The radiator and fan flew out the front of the grill. The muffler and exhaust pipes hit the ground. The airbags deployed. The car stopped. If it had not happened or no one was there to see it happen, my husband would not have lived. But this happened right in front of a school and there were a lot of people around him immediately. Yes, I believe in angels. If this had happened a half hour later, the children and parents would have been there and only heaven knows what kind of toll this accident would have taken on them.
I believe that everything happened exactly as it should have for him to be alive. There were people around him immediately, helping him and calling for help. There were 6 ambulances and 2 firetrucks there almost immediately. The accident happened close to The Med and the Elvis Presley Trauma Center, and that is where he was taken. We just got health insurance a few weeks prior, and he has workmen's compensation because this happened while he was on the job. He should have internal injuries or broken bones, but he does not. Yes, I believe in angels.
Who else but an angel could have saved my husband from death by helping him to hit a telephone pole instead of letting him park the car? His car protected him from serious injury. (He is, however, still suffering with deep bruises and the pain from the airbags hitting his chest.) The angels who came to his aid got help to him immediately. The angels who manned the ambulances got him stabilized and safely to the Trauma Center. The angels at the Trauma Center took care of him until he was released to go home, and they made sure I was cared for as well. So, yes, I believe in angels.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
P.S. Thank you, Maxima, for your years of dedicated service to my family. We will miss you.
We've had it rough for the past 10 years, my family and I. There have been family losses, job losses and opportunity losses. We've had health challenges, financial challenges and emotional challenges. Most people would not have come through all of this in one piece. But we are not most people, and we are protected by angels.
Yes, I believe in angels. If there was ever any doubt, it vanished last week when my husband had a life-threatening event and almost lost his life. Wednesday started out as any normal day. Well, as normal as they could be since Steve started his new job. This job has put us on different schedules and has become taxing on all of us. Anyway, I said goodbye that morning with a kiss and my usual "have a good day." What I didn't realize is that everything that matters to you can be taken away in the blink of an eye.
Wednesday was three days until the start of classes, and I was looking forward (sic) to sitting in the financial aid melting pot for 3 1/2 hours. Once finished, I was on my way to getting my parking decal renewed, when I received a call from a number I didn't recognize. Normally, I will let those go to voice mail, but the prefix on the number had me thinking that it could have something to do with school, so I picked up. What I heard next was not what I expected.
The voice at the other end of the phone was from someone at the Trauma Center telling me that my husband of 30 years had been in an accident and was in their care. I was strangely calm, as if this was something planned and expected. I listened as he explained what happened and my only question was "Is he alive?" The answer was yes, and he was alert and somewhat oriented. I could speak to him if I wished. Well, hell YES I want to speak to him! It was then that the story started to piece together.
Steve told me that he was at a client's house on the front porch when he was stung in the back of the neck by two yellow jackets. Steve is deathly allergic to those stings, but I was still unprepared for what he told me. He got in the car, started to drive, and about 3 blocks later, started to lose his vision and decided to pull over and call me. Thank God that didn't happen. Let me explain.
If Steve had been successful in pulling the car over and putting it in Park, no one would know that there was anything wrong and he would have died. His blood pressure had dropped and he went into anaphylactic shock behind the wheel. Since he did not get it to park, the car hit a telephone pole at what must have been a good clip, because it was severed into 3 pieces. The windshield was smashed. The radiator and fan flew out the front of the grill. The muffler and exhaust pipes hit the ground. The airbags deployed. The car stopped. If it had not happened or no one was there to see it happen, my husband would not have lived. But this happened right in front of a school and there were a lot of people around him immediately. Yes, I believe in angels. If this had happened a half hour later, the children and parents would have been there and only heaven knows what kind of toll this accident would have taken on them.
I believe that everything happened exactly as it should have for him to be alive. There were people around him immediately, helping him and calling for help. There were 6 ambulances and 2 firetrucks there almost immediately. The accident happened close to The Med and the Elvis Presley Trauma Center, and that is where he was taken. We just got health insurance a few weeks prior, and he has workmen's compensation because this happened while he was on the job. He should have internal injuries or broken bones, but he does not. Yes, I believe in angels.
If there was ever any doubt, take a look at the pictures I took of what is left of our Maxima. The car is a total loss because there was no collision insurance on it, but it has forced us to make changes in our lives. Look at that car and then tell me I'm wrong. I have good reason to believe in angels. Whether human or celestial, they saved my husband and gave me back my marriage, my focus and my perspective. Yes, there are angels among us. Sometimes they wear wings. At other times, they wear scrubs.
Paczki Puta
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Sometimes I Think... Other Times I Weep
I don't know why, but while I was watching tv tonight, I felt a little weepy. I fought back the urge and realized how very tired I am. I have had an exhausting 10 or 11 weeks. I spent most of the time in school, in a program that I really want to be in. But with that comes a great deal of jockeying in the household, not all of it good.
My family has had to take over everything during my summer semester. That's an unusual thing for me to let happen. Usually, I am the person who takes care of everyone and everything. And even though I am still "directing traffic" so to speak, it still feels like I am letting my family down by having them cover the bases in my absence. Now that I am on my summer break, I am catching up on all the myriad of chores I have let slip during my school days.
I'm a week into my summer break and still I have not had a rest. Maybe that was the reason for my weepiness earlier today. During this past week, I have been mending quilts, re-covering my dining room chairs and making kielbasa. I see postings from other people about how they are going out and "partying", and I am still working. It's not that I mind the work; it's just that sometimes I would like a respite from it. I never get to go fishing anymore. I never get to go out, and I only visit people when it's forced upon me, because I'm just too busy to do it otherwise. I don't even have time to call a friend back when she has left me a message several days ago.
I look at the plans I have for my life and realize that it's slipping away. When I was making the sausage this week, I couldn't help but think of my grandmothers, my great-grandmothers, my godmother and godfather, and all the other relatives that left this life too soon. I thought of them doing the very same thing that I was doing right then: making sausage. To my knowledge, I am the only person in the family to carry on their tradition of making authentic Polish food by hand, in the old-fashioned way. I smile at the thought, but then I think of the life my grandfather would have liked to have, and wonder if I have regressed instead of going forward, as he might have wanted me to do. I wonder if this is what I am supposed to do, or am I just tired?
When I am tired, I get weepy. Tonight is one of those times. I know that I need a good long rest, and I wonder if I will ever get it. Does everyone feel this way or is this something that only I am feeling? In these times of reflection, I think way too deeply for my state of mind. I am missing my family, and there is nothing I can do except go through it. There are times that I feel like giving up, but what would that get me? Just more unfulfilled hopes and dreams, so onward I go. Maybe this is how my grandfather felt when cancer was taking his strength. Maybe I am supposed to keep on fighting. Maybe.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
My family has had to take over everything during my summer semester. That's an unusual thing for me to let happen. Usually, I am the person who takes care of everyone and everything. And even though I am still "directing traffic" so to speak, it still feels like I am letting my family down by having them cover the bases in my absence. Now that I am on my summer break, I am catching up on all the myriad of chores I have let slip during my school days.
I'm a week into my summer break and still I have not had a rest. Maybe that was the reason for my weepiness earlier today. During this past week, I have been mending quilts, re-covering my dining room chairs and making kielbasa. I see postings from other people about how they are going out and "partying", and I am still working. It's not that I mind the work; it's just that sometimes I would like a respite from it. I never get to go fishing anymore. I never get to go out, and I only visit people when it's forced upon me, because I'm just too busy to do it otherwise. I don't even have time to call a friend back when she has left me a message several days ago.
I look at the plans I have for my life and realize that it's slipping away. When I was making the sausage this week, I couldn't help but think of my grandmothers, my great-grandmothers, my godmother and godfather, and all the other relatives that left this life too soon. I thought of them doing the very same thing that I was doing right then: making sausage. To my knowledge, I am the only person in the family to carry on their tradition of making authentic Polish food by hand, in the old-fashioned way. I smile at the thought, but then I think of the life my grandfather would have liked to have, and wonder if I have regressed instead of going forward, as he might have wanted me to do. I wonder if this is what I am supposed to do, or am I just tired?
When I am tired, I get weepy. Tonight is one of those times. I know that I need a good long rest, and I wonder if I will ever get it. Does everyone feel this way or is this something that only I am feeling? In these times of reflection, I think way too deeply for my state of mind. I am missing my family, and there is nothing I can do except go through it. There are times that I feel like giving up, but what would that get me? Just more unfulfilled hopes and dreams, so onward I go. Maybe this is how my grandfather felt when cancer was taking his strength. Maybe I am supposed to keep on fighting. Maybe.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Friday, August 2, 2013
101 Things To Do Over My Summer Break
Okay, so maybe I don't have 101 things to do, but I can get darned close if I try. Today is my last day of the summer semester, and it has been eye-opening, so let's start with that. This past semester held some revelations for me:
Firstly, I had a "friend" whose true self manifested during this semester, and I have decided to do without her in my life. It's not that I couldn't tolerate her behavior, but I choose to only have stable people in the Third Act. Everyone has their ups and downs, but this one needs to be on Ritalin. Enough!
Secondly, I really AM as smart as I think I am, and am hoping that I will advance to the next stage of the program to prove it to myself. My gut tells me that I will advance, but there is always that chance that I won't. We'll see. Grades come out next week.
Thirdly, I have decided that if I don't make it through the program, I am not going to continue in school. At that point, I feel like I would be beating a dead horse, and for what? My kielbasa business is doing well, and I can focus on that. So, no more school after this unless I make it through, and then I will go on to OT school.
Now with all that being said, today I have my last exam and a field trip to a burn unit. I am looking forward to being done so I can focus on other things. My house has gone to hell over the last 10 weeks, and I am going to get that back in order. So, here's my list of what I can expect of myself in the next 3 weeks.
1. Get old armoire and turn it into a quilt cabinet. Actually, I have this one under control. I am picking up the armoire tomorrow. Granted, I have to rent a truck to do it, but it will get done.
2. Make 100 pounds of kielbasa. I have pre-orders of 32 pounds for this batch, but I am sure as these clients spread the word, more are on the way. I have given out "tastes" of cooked kielbasa to several clients, with rave reviews.
3. Get back on my diet and exercise! This is a biggie. It can't wait any longer. I have my kitchen in order, so I can plan many nutritious meals. A combination of great meals and progressive exercise will result in a loss of 3% bodyfat in the next 3 weeks. That's what I'm shooting for. Also, I want to make it a habit again. I'm tired of exercise falling by the wayside and my health suffering for it. So Step #1 will be to plan my fat attack on paper (tonight), and to take my measurements tomorrow morning. I hate to see what kind of damage has been done to my body, but after I take the measurements, I will put that piece of paper away until I take them again. No use in stressing about it. Just suck it up, soldier, and move on.
4. Mending, mending, mending... I have so much of it that I have to put it on the list or it won't get done.
5. Re-cover 2 dining room chairs. I can do it myself, and have in the past. So 2 will get covered.
6. Move more monkey grass. I have been moving monkey grass to cover a very barren piece of our property. The oak tree soaks up any nutrients in that area, and the only thing I know for sure that I can't kill is monkey grass. So I will move some more of those buggers and hope for the best.
7. Get to know my guitar again. I just had my guitar worked on so it will be easier for me to play, and I want to take full advantage of it. I need it after this semester of killing my brain cells.
8. Get some watch batteries. I have lots of watches, and almost all of them need a new battery. Geesh.
9. Get new lights for the front of the house. The old ones look pitiful. Time for some new friends.
10. Refresh your memory on kinesiology.
I guess that's not 101, but only 10, but it's 10 big ones. Anyone who wants me to make myself nuts coming up with the other 91 things, can write me. I'm sure I can come up with something inane and useless.
Wish I could just take a vacation...
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Firstly, I had a "friend" whose true self manifested during this semester, and I have decided to do without her in my life. It's not that I couldn't tolerate her behavior, but I choose to only have stable people in the Third Act. Everyone has their ups and downs, but this one needs to be on Ritalin. Enough!
Secondly, I really AM as smart as I think I am, and am hoping that I will advance to the next stage of the program to prove it to myself. My gut tells me that I will advance, but there is always that chance that I won't. We'll see. Grades come out next week.
Thirdly, I have decided that if I don't make it through the program, I am not going to continue in school. At that point, I feel like I would be beating a dead horse, and for what? My kielbasa business is doing well, and I can focus on that. So, no more school after this unless I make it through, and then I will go on to OT school.
Now with all that being said, today I have my last exam and a field trip to a burn unit. I am looking forward to being done so I can focus on other things. My house has gone to hell over the last 10 weeks, and I am going to get that back in order. So, here's my list of what I can expect of myself in the next 3 weeks.
1. Get old armoire and turn it into a quilt cabinet. Actually, I have this one under control. I am picking up the armoire tomorrow. Granted, I have to rent a truck to do it, but it will get done.
2. Make 100 pounds of kielbasa. I have pre-orders of 32 pounds for this batch, but I am sure as these clients spread the word, more are on the way. I have given out "tastes" of cooked kielbasa to several clients, with rave reviews.
3. Get back on my diet and exercise! This is a biggie. It can't wait any longer. I have my kitchen in order, so I can plan many nutritious meals. A combination of great meals and progressive exercise will result in a loss of 3% bodyfat in the next 3 weeks. That's what I'm shooting for. Also, I want to make it a habit again. I'm tired of exercise falling by the wayside and my health suffering for it. So Step #1 will be to plan my fat attack on paper (tonight), and to take my measurements tomorrow morning. I hate to see what kind of damage has been done to my body, but after I take the measurements, I will put that piece of paper away until I take them again. No use in stressing about it. Just suck it up, soldier, and move on.
4. Mending, mending, mending... I have so much of it that I have to put it on the list or it won't get done.
5. Re-cover 2 dining room chairs. I can do it myself, and have in the past. So 2 will get covered.
6. Move more monkey grass. I have been moving monkey grass to cover a very barren piece of our property. The oak tree soaks up any nutrients in that area, and the only thing I know for sure that I can't kill is monkey grass. So I will move some more of those buggers and hope for the best.
7. Get to know my guitar again. I just had my guitar worked on so it will be easier for me to play, and I want to take full advantage of it. I need it after this semester of killing my brain cells.
8. Get some watch batteries. I have lots of watches, and almost all of them need a new battery. Geesh.
9. Get new lights for the front of the house. The old ones look pitiful. Time for some new friends.
10. Refresh your memory on kinesiology.
I guess that's not 101, but only 10, but it's 10 big ones. Anyone who wants me to make myself nuts coming up with the other 91 things, can write me. I'm sure I can come up with something inane and useless.
Wish I could just take a vacation...
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Friday, June 21, 2013
Life on the Upswing
Looking back on my last post, I realized that I had better do an update or people will think I've jumped off the planet in search of greener horizons. We have had a very rough ride in the last 10 months, but it looks like the fog is finally beginning to lift, and it is time to take stock of where we were 10 months ago, how far we have come, and where we are going.
A little background...
My dear husband of 30 years was abruptly terminated from his job of 33 years on August 15. He was given a severance check of two weeks' salary with not a by-your-leave or a kiss-my-butt. Looking back on it, he WAS given the kiss-my-butt when they refused to give him his unpaid vacation pay, which was to roll-over from year to year, as in their company policy... the company policy that they denied existed. We decided to sue over the matter, and apparently, the truth can be bought, because their bookkeeper who wrote the policy lied under oath against my husband. How quaint. This is the same woman who spent her entire salary at the casinos, and filed for bankruptcy three times. To say she was bought-off would be a well-placed educated guess. I am sure that karma will catch up to them all in one way or another, and although I would love to say that I would like to be there when it does, I really don't. Karma can be really ugly at times, and I don't want to be anywhere nearby when it rears its vengeful head at the "evil-doers", its characteristic three times for every wrong. Good luck with that.
But I digress... Where was I going with this? Oh yes. That's where we were. Back on point.
As of May 12, 2013, we have three college graduates in the house. Jason now has his Bachelors in Professional Studies along with his Associate of Applied Science in Information Technology. It was a long road for him, and I am extremely proud of his accomplishment. It took 10 years for him to escape the University of Memphis intact. He's awesome. I hope he knows that. He is now looking for work as a programmer, so any of you tech-heads out there, keep a watchful eye out for this up and coming star! He's coming for your job! Ha ha. A mother's pride.
Rhys now has his Associate of Science in General Studies and is going forward with his plans for Business Administration/Management. Again, a very long road, but he has had the support of his family and sometimes the threat of a size 10 boot up the butt to keep him heading in the right direction. This is the guy that his kindergarten teacher wanted to put on Ritalin because she didn't want to deal with a child who didn't know he had to sit in a chair for six hours a day. What does she know? I didn't let it happen. This is the guy that his third grade teacher wanted to hold back so he could be a leader instead of a follower. What does she know? I didn't let it happen. This is the guy that was shot in the back of his head while he sat in his Spanish class in high school. I didn't put him back in the same situation. This is the guy who never met a stranger and will be an asset to the life experience of anyone he encounters. He has excelled even though his school experiences have not exactly been the gentle life I would have wanted for this exceptional man. An awesome guy. I hope he knows that and keeps on truckin'.
Steve has landed a job after a 10 month search. It's not the job he wants, but I am extremely proud of his willingness to step outside of his comfort zone to take care of his family. And it may very well turn out to be something that he will love once he gets going. I just want him to be happy. One way or the other, he will be. It's only for a year. He doesn't have to work anymore after that if he doesn't want to. There. I've said it. Eat your hearts out, all of you who are suffering with delusions of retiring early. My husband will be able to do that. How is that, you ask? That's in the next paragraph.
I graduated from Southwest with my Associate of Science in General Studies and was uncertain of my path when I was turned down for a program I really wanted to be in and then made a HUGE mistake by going into nursing school at the University of Memphis. I had to make a life decision, and fast. I hate having to make life decisions on the fly. It's not that I can't do it, but I would rather have the time to do the legwork and come up with a plan rather than think as quickly as I have to sometimes. I went to Concorde to inquire about their PTA program. They talked me into OTA. In the meantime, Steve and a friend of mine talked me into applying at Southwest for their PTA program again. Couldn't hurt, but I also did myself a favor by keeping my options open for OT at the University of Tennessee.
What ended up happening is a comedy in itself. I was waiting for word from Southwest, but had to start the OTA program at Concorde. I was in the very first class on the very first day, and got a text from Steve telling me that I had a certified letter from Southwest. I told him to open it and he told me "Congratulations! You have been accepted!" Wow. Unexpected. Now I had to make another life decision and fast. I searched my heart over the next 20 minutes (ha ha) and at the end of class, I said goodbye and knew I was going back to Southwest. I felt like I had been on a rollercoaster, got off, threw up and got back on. Ha ha! There was a torrential downpour as I left Concorde. I trudged through 4 inches of water to my car, but I didn't even realize my feet were wet. So this is what it feels like to be happy. No, this is what it feels like to be elated! I have just finished my first full week of the program, and although it's only been a week, it feels like I've been there much longer. We have covered a lot of ground, and my first exam (Kinesiology) is next week. God help me!
So... where are we now? On the upswing is the quickest answer. After years of being tormented by Steve's former employer, we have hope. The boys are doing well with their goals. Steve is doing well with his. I am doing well with mine. We went from being almost destitute to having a bright future ahead. It's been a long road, and there are a lot of people who have to answer for what they did to my family. But we have survived. And we have endured. Now we will prosper. Take THAT, Karma!
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
A little background...
My dear husband of 30 years was abruptly terminated from his job of 33 years on August 15. He was given a severance check of two weeks' salary with not a by-your-leave or a kiss-my-butt. Looking back on it, he WAS given the kiss-my-butt when they refused to give him his unpaid vacation pay, which was to roll-over from year to year, as in their company policy... the company policy that they denied existed. We decided to sue over the matter, and apparently, the truth can be bought, because their bookkeeper who wrote the policy lied under oath against my husband. How quaint. This is the same woman who spent her entire salary at the casinos, and filed for bankruptcy three times. To say she was bought-off would be a well-placed educated guess. I am sure that karma will catch up to them all in one way or another, and although I would love to say that I would like to be there when it does, I really don't. Karma can be really ugly at times, and I don't want to be anywhere nearby when it rears its vengeful head at the "evil-doers", its characteristic three times for every wrong. Good luck with that.
But I digress... Where was I going with this? Oh yes. That's where we were. Back on point.
As of May 12, 2013, we have three college graduates in the house. Jason now has his Bachelors in Professional Studies along with his Associate of Applied Science in Information Technology. It was a long road for him, and I am extremely proud of his accomplishment. It took 10 years for him to escape the University of Memphis intact. He's awesome. I hope he knows that. He is now looking for work as a programmer, so any of you tech-heads out there, keep a watchful eye out for this up and coming star! He's coming for your job! Ha ha. A mother's pride.
Rhys now has his Associate of Science in General Studies and is going forward with his plans for Business Administration/Management. Again, a very long road, but he has had the support of his family and sometimes the threat of a size 10 boot up the butt to keep him heading in the right direction. This is the guy that his kindergarten teacher wanted to put on Ritalin because she didn't want to deal with a child who didn't know he had to sit in a chair for six hours a day. What does she know? I didn't let it happen. This is the guy that his third grade teacher wanted to hold back so he could be a leader instead of a follower. What does she know? I didn't let it happen. This is the guy that was shot in the back of his head while he sat in his Spanish class in high school. I didn't put him back in the same situation. This is the guy who never met a stranger and will be an asset to the life experience of anyone he encounters. He has excelled even though his school experiences have not exactly been the gentle life I would have wanted for this exceptional man. An awesome guy. I hope he knows that and keeps on truckin'.
Steve has landed a job after a 10 month search. It's not the job he wants, but I am extremely proud of his willingness to step outside of his comfort zone to take care of his family. And it may very well turn out to be something that he will love once he gets going. I just want him to be happy. One way or the other, he will be. It's only for a year. He doesn't have to work anymore after that if he doesn't want to. There. I've said it. Eat your hearts out, all of you who are suffering with delusions of retiring early. My husband will be able to do that. How is that, you ask? That's in the next paragraph.
I graduated from Southwest with my Associate of Science in General Studies and was uncertain of my path when I was turned down for a program I really wanted to be in and then made a HUGE mistake by going into nursing school at the University of Memphis. I had to make a life decision, and fast. I hate having to make life decisions on the fly. It's not that I can't do it, but I would rather have the time to do the legwork and come up with a plan rather than think as quickly as I have to sometimes. I went to Concorde to inquire about their PTA program. They talked me into OTA. In the meantime, Steve and a friend of mine talked me into applying at Southwest for their PTA program again. Couldn't hurt, but I also did myself a favor by keeping my options open for OT at the University of Tennessee.
What ended up happening is a comedy in itself. I was waiting for word from Southwest, but had to start the OTA program at Concorde. I was in the very first class on the very first day, and got a text from Steve telling me that I had a certified letter from Southwest. I told him to open it and he told me "Congratulations! You have been accepted!" Wow. Unexpected. Now I had to make another life decision and fast. I searched my heart over the next 20 minutes (ha ha) and at the end of class, I said goodbye and knew I was going back to Southwest. I felt like I had been on a rollercoaster, got off, threw up and got back on. Ha ha! There was a torrential downpour as I left Concorde. I trudged through 4 inches of water to my car, but I didn't even realize my feet were wet. So this is what it feels like to be happy. No, this is what it feels like to be elated! I have just finished my first full week of the program, and although it's only been a week, it feels like I've been there much longer. We have covered a lot of ground, and my first exam (Kinesiology) is next week. God help me!
So... where are we now? On the upswing is the quickest answer. After years of being tormented by Steve's former employer, we have hope. The boys are doing well with their goals. Steve is doing well with his. I am doing well with mine. We went from being almost destitute to having a bright future ahead. It's been a long road, and there are a lot of people who have to answer for what they did to my family. But we have survived. And we have endured. Now we will prosper. Take THAT, Karma!
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Thursday, April 25, 2013
The Parable of the Parakeet
I had a dream last night about a wild parakeet. She was blue with white markings and loved flying around and singing. She took a wrong turn one day and ended up inside a house. The house looked suspiciously like the one I live in. The owner of the house caught the parakeet in his cupped hands and put her inside a cage so she wouldn't get hurt. She screamed in protest and flapped her wings wildly once inside. When the keeper brought water and food, she bit the hand in a desperate attempt to escape the cage.
It didn't take long before the keeper noticed that the parakeet had stopped flapping her wings. He went to see the bird up close and she would again attack the cage, trying to gain her freedom. The keeper moved away from the cage, and the bird settled down. The next day, the keeper went to check in on the bird and noticed some feathers at the bottom of the cage. A closer inspection revealed that she had broken her wings trying to escape. She had also stopped singing. When the keeper tried to splint the wings, the bird again attacked. The keeper moved away, hoping his distance from the cage would soothe her.
As the days passed, more feathers appeared at the bottom of the cage. No song greeted the keeper in the morning. The once-bright eyes had dulled and it was obvious that the parakeet was suffering. The keeper brought her a younger parakeet to keep her company and lift her spirits. Instead, she moved into a corner and buried her head in her broken wings. She didn't eat or drink what was offered to her and made no interaction with the other bird. The next day, the parakeet was found dead at the bottom of the cage. Her once-beautiful feathers were now sparse and broken. Her dulled eyes were open but her body was stiff.
It was no surprise to me that the parakeet died after being caged. The nature of the parakeet is to stretch her wings, fly around and show her delight in song. When the nature of the bird was compromised, she gave up on life, after giving it all she had. I am that bird.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
It didn't take long before the keeper noticed that the parakeet had stopped flapping her wings. He went to see the bird up close and she would again attack the cage, trying to gain her freedom. The keeper moved away from the cage, and the bird settled down. The next day, the keeper went to check in on the bird and noticed some feathers at the bottom of the cage. A closer inspection revealed that she had broken her wings trying to escape. She had also stopped singing. When the keeper tried to splint the wings, the bird again attacked. The keeper moved away, hoping his distance from the cage would soothe her.
As the days passed, more feathers appeared at the bottom of the cage. No song greeted the keeper in the morning. The once-bright eyes had dulled and it was obvious that the parakeet was suffering. The keeper brought her a younger parakeet to keep her company and lift her spirits. Instead, she moved into a corner and buried her head in her broken wings. She didn't eat or drink what was offered to her and made no interaction with the other bird. The next day, the parakeet was found dead at the bottom of the cage. Her once-beautiful feathers were now sparse and broken. Her dulled eyes were open but her body was stiff.
It was no surprise to me that the parakeet died after being caged. The nature of the parakeet is to stretch her wings, fly around and show her delight in song. When the nature of the bird was compromised, she gave up on life, after giving it all she had. I am that bird.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
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