How in the world do you say goodbye to someone as sweet as my baby girl... There have been too many losses this year, but none more devastating to me than the loss of Gidget. My poor baby... my heart is irretrievably shattered. I can't even look at her picture without sobbing. She was such a good girl.
Gidget was 6 years old when she came to us 3 years ago. Was it really only 3 years ago? Seems like she was always with us... and it seems such a short time as well. Gidget was a puppymill rescue. I saw her little face on the internet and fell in love with her immediately. Steve and I drove an hour and a half through a monsoon to get her from the Corinth-Alcorn County Humane Shelter. I knew she was a gem... and she was. They called her Noelle, but she never had a name, so she took to the name Gidget very easily.
The poor dear was strutting around her cage like a showdog when we walked in... or so we thought. We found out later that she was terrified of thunderstorms, by how she acted during them. She would scramble around, trying to find a place to hide, even if it meant walking on my head. It was annoying, but understandable since she spent her first 6 years in a cage outside. She needn't have worried... I'd never have left her in the elements, but I couldn't get that across to her. Anyway, there she was, strutting around in that cage. She was so tired out and frightened that she slept almost all the way home. When we got her home, we opened the cage door and let her out. The little darling ran around on her butt in circles because she didn't know that her world was bigger than a cage. Gradually she began to explore her world, always scampering back to me for comfort. We put her up on the couch, but she didn't have enough strength in her hind legs to jump down, so we got her some stairs. She was always going up and down those stairs to be wherever I was. If I moved to the bedroom, there she was. If I went to the bathroom, she was right behind me. I would put up a finger and say "I'll be right back", but she still followed me wherever I went. I got used to it and would wait to hear the jingle of her tags outside the bathroom door. I'd open it and say "You want to come in?" The answer was ALWAYS yes. She would just sit on the rug and wait patiently for me to be done before we left the room.
Gidget didn't make much noise when she first came home. As she grew stronger and more confident, she would bark a little, going "Bur... bur... bururururur..." Her eyes grew bright and her legs got strong. She would go for walks on a leash, always trying to keep up with Gizmo. What a darling she was... she had a habit of pottying on the floor, so I took it upon myself to help her a little in the past couple of months. I would take her outside and tell her to make potty. When she squatted, I would make a big fuss saying "OH GOOD POTTY!!! Such a good girl! Big potty! Yayyyyyy!!!" and I clapped like a fool. She loved it.
What else did she love... tater tots with cheese... treats... even the pill pockets I had to use to get her to take her medication once we found out she had a heart murmur. She had started coughing all night long and I took her to the vet to find out the cause. That's what it was. So she went on a medication regimen and I made sure she got her medicine every morning and night. I even made up her pill pockets in advance if we were going out of town. She always had plenty of food, water, fresh air and sunshine. She had toys to play with, and a wonderful playmate in Gizmo. She loved to give kisses... and I miss those kisses. She had a mommy who loved her beyond comprehension.
She loved to run through the house. It was so funny watching this little dog that used to run around on her butt hauling ass throughout the house. Steve used to call her a runaway featherduster because her tail was so bushy and it went everywhere when she ran. She really hauled too! It was adorable to watch. And I loved making her happy.
She got really weak in the last couple of weeks and started looking like something was really wrong. She would put her nose up in the air and her eyes were really wide. She had two episodes... one a couple of weeks ago (from which she recovered) and then one the day before she died. She had a rough night that last night. Her cough was weak and she wouldn't settle down. She still had that strange look on her face. The next evening, Sunday December 19, 2010, she was lying next to me on the couch like she had done so many times before, and I told Steve I wanted a picture of her in her Santa outfit. He fumbled around a bit and I said to hurry before she dies. We took two pictures... the last one with Gizmo in it as well. After the camera flashed, she pushed away from me with her hind legs, as if to get away. I eased her on the cedar chest, saw for a split second that she looked at me, and then she collapsed. I watched as her tiny body struggled to live, although I told Steve and the boys that she was dying and to get my stethoscope. Listening to her brave little heart told me the story. Her heartbeat was faint... then I heard BUMP BUMP BUMP... then sinus rhythm, which was impossible because she had stopped breathing by then. I gave her two little breaths to ease the transition. Her heart just slowed and stopped. I knew she was already gone before I heard her heart stop. All the while, I whispered "Go now... Go... go home... don't worry about me...". She literally jumped out of my arms and into the arms of God.
We buried her in the backyard next to Shelby. It seemed fitting. She was still warm when I laid her to rest. I had to put her in... I couldn't just let her lie in the house... the rest of our pets were upset. Now I wear her collar around my wrist and can't seem to take it off. I don't know what I'm going to do without her. She was here for such a short time... and yet she was my whole world. I will always love you, Gidget. You made such an impact on me. You made me a better person. I know it was your time, but I wasn't ready yet. Please wait up. I'll be along shortly. I love you. Always, Mommy.
Na zdrowie'
Paczki Puta
UPDATE: Steve just reminded me at our Christmas Eve dinner how Gidget would wake up every morning just as if it was Christmas every day. That's a thought I'm going to take with me forever.
CHRISTMAS MORNING: Those we love sometimes pass beyond our present sight,
Leave us and the world we know without their radiant light.
But we know that like a candle their lovely light will shine,
To brighten up another place more perfect, more divine.
Merry Christmas Gidgie, my little love.
I love you and miss you. Mommy
DECEMBER 27, 2010:
It's been a whole week... don't know how I've gone this long without you. I woke up this morning, expecting to pick you up, take you outside and watch you stretch. I loved watching you stretch when you woke up. It was as if you were saying "Ahhhh... this feel so good!" Every morning was Christmas morning to you and I loved you every single minute. Last night I was remembering taking you for your walks, and you would have to check out every place that Gizmo pottied. You tried to potty in the same places that he did. He misses you as much as I do. I'm watching for your sweet spirit to come back, Gidgie. We all are. Love, Mommy.
