One Foot in Each World

I just began my last semester at Southwest today, and was reflecting on the path my life has taken, and the path to come. It seems to me that I have always had one foot in one world and one in another.

For example, I have one foot at Southwest, and one at the next school. I have one foot in my hometown, and one here in Memphis. I have one in friendships here and one in friendships of the past. It can be so confusing, and knowing that I have a new path to follow soon does not make it any easier. I have always been the kind of person who moves on easily from one place to another, so why am I now having trouble imagining life after Memphis?

Interesting. It's not like me at all. I am usually very committed to whatever direction I know to be right, but there are some people that I will miss when I leave here. It makes me wonder if I have been mired here too long to do anything else, but at the same time, there are others who are making the same choices that I am now faced with, and they seem to be doing fine. Am I being too cautious, or just trying not to make the same mistake twice? I know that in order to progress, I have to move away. I had to move away from Chicago in order to progress on my life's path, and soon it will be time to move again. I have so much on my mind, and I guess I just want to be sure I'm making the right decision.

Today I was reminded of northern winters when Memphis was hit with a cold front, and the windchill reminded me of the winters I grew up knowing. I miss the north, of that there is no doubt. I miss winters where you can count on having snow all winter long, and that nice period of rest that comes with it. Everything slows down there, and it must if people are going to be safe getting where they are going. People take their time, a lesson that Memphis still has to learn. With harsh winters comes the anticipation of spring and summer. I loved summers up north because of the hard winters we had to endure. I came here and found that I could sweat in places that I never knew existed. I will NOT miss that. I will also not miss those huge flying roaches that the locals call "palmetto bugs", or the jumping spiders. Those things are just nasty. I will not miss the fleas that the mild winters do not kill off. Nor will I miss the horrible work ethic that is so pervasive here. I want to live where work is appreciated. I have not seen that here.

I know that I was sent here to learn life lessons, and believe me, I have more than my share of A's for these lessons. I'm SO done with all of this. Patience is my last and most important lesson. Graduation for my AS is in May. Be patient, you'll get there. BSN is in 2 more years. Be patient, you'll get there. Moving is at least 2 more years. Be very patient, and you'll get there! Patience was never my strong suit. But then again, I'm moving from one world to another. Again.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta