Self-Reliance

There have been several times in my life that I have had to find out who I am and what I'm made of.  This is one of them.  After making it through school, being the first in my class to get my license and the first to get a job, and now the first to get my second job, I am faced with the knowledge that maybe I had it right all along.  Maybe I'm more than what I thought.  Maybe I'm made of tougher stuff.

The first time I realized that I had to be self-reliant was the day I left my parents' home.  The second time was when I left my ex-husband's home to be on my own.  And now I am on that road again.  Not the road to leaving, but on the road to the future, and on my road to self-reliance.

I am now in control of all the decisions I make and the choices I make are also mine.  These decisions will affect my family, yes, but they will be in the direction that I know I must go.  I have to make these decisions to allow my family to grow in wisdom and to flourish financially.  The first of these decisions will be in our moving away from Memphis to seek a better life elsewhere.  My target date is the middle of May, when Rhys is finished with his transfer scholarship at the University of Memphis.  He will still have a full semester plus a senior project to do, but he can do those at any university.  Jason is still unemployed, and so is Steve, so it looks like the way is being cleared for us to go.  Finally.

It's no secret that staying in this town has not been my choice.  Now more than ever, I have to make the decision to leave here count.  I am pursuing another job... this time, a travel job.  This will allow us to move our home base where we want to be.  And once we are there, I will look for a permanent position.  In the meantime, we are preparing the house to be sold, and tidying up all our affairs here.  It's time to take the path we are on and see where it leads.

Somehow, it feels easier this time, and harder as well.  This is a permanent decision.  My family will continue and we will thrive.  All the preparations I have been through in my mind are coming to fruition.  Our collective health is improving as is our financial health.  These are in my control.  My family is making life easier for me, as I leave to do battle every day with a collection of elderly dementia patients who test my very sanity.

My only job when I get home every day is to take care of myself and that, I do gladly.  I remember well how my own mother's body was all used up by pregnancies and a lifetime of not taking care of herself.  That will not happen to me.  I caught it in time.  Now I move forward.  WE move forward.  Look out, Colorado.  Here we come!

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta