One good friend sent me this:
Things to do when you're bored at Wal-Mart
1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute
intervals throughout the day.
2. Put M&M's on layaway.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official
tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares,"
and see what happens.
4. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn
them all off and turn the volumes to "10."
5. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes
of gift wrap.
6.Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading
to the rest rooms.
7. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted
areas.
8. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell
others you'll only invite them in if they bring
pillows from Bed and Bath.
9. When someone asks if you need help, begin
to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just
leave me alone?"
10. Look right into the security camera, and
use it as a mirror while you floss your teeth.
11. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting
up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs.
the X-Men.
12. Ask other customers if they have any
Grey Poupon.
13. While handling guns in the hunting
department, suddenly ask the clerk if he
knows where the antidepressants are.
14. Switch the men's and women's signs
on the doors of the rest rooms.
15. Dart around suspiciously while humming
the theme from "Mission Impossible."
16. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of
the store.
17. Sit on a chair and read a book for hours.
18. Hide in the clothing racks and when people
browse, say things like "pick me! pick me!!"
19. When an announcement comes over the
loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and
scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
20. If the store has a food court, buy a soft
drink; explain that you don't get out much,
and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
And last, but not least...
21. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud...
"Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"
Seriously though, today I am going to find a way to make the businesses pay off like they've never paid before. That's going to take a lot of research, and a lot of brainpower that I don't possess after a sleepless night. It's at times like these that I wish I still smoked. Caffeine and nicotine... the two major food groups. Since I don't do that anymore, I have to find another way to awaken my sleepy brain and get something productive done. The boys will start back to class at the end of next week, so I will reclaim all that time as my own and possibly (finally) be able to get some things done around the house. There is still a buttload of wallpaper to strip, as well as 10 coats of paint to come off the woodwork in the dining room, and generally bringing this house into a more modern era than "Early 20th Century Rent House". It's an exaggeration, but there's a lot that needs work. I'm sure a renewed vigor will hit me once the guys are back in class and not hanging around the house all day every day.
So what's happening next... what's on the horizon... ? I don't know. But whatever it is, I'm going to be looking at it with a child's wonder because if I've learned anything from all the problems this country is experiencing, it's that "You gotta learn to laugh. It's the path to true love." (John Travolta as "Michael")
Music playing... coffee in hand... it's time to get started.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
