Monday, September 19, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Through the Looking Glass
I feel old. The face in the mirror is showing the ravages of time. My skin is thinning around my eyes and I see the dark circles that I've always hated so much. There isn't enough concealer in the world to cover them. An inherited trait. My eyelids droop. I don't know when that started but I don't like the effect. Another inherited trait. I haven't worn eye makeup for a really long time. I can't stand the stuff. I used to use it all the time, but for what reason? Whatever it was, the reason doesn't exist anymore.
I look at my chin... single. It used to be a double chin, but I've got it back down to a single. Back to the eyes... they look like the life has been sucked right out of them. I look tired. I AM tired. Tired of life. Tired of trying. Tired of being beaten down again. Tired. Tired. Tired.
My classmates can't believe my age, and sometimes I can't believe it either. How did I get so old? I go to my P.E. class and don't understand why my body won't respond the way I want it to. Aren't I still 20 years old? No, honey. You're not. You have to wear a heart monitor and not try to keep up with everyone else. I feel like a beginner all over again. I hate it. Why am I in school again? Somehow the answer escapes me today.
I hate feeling like life has passed me by. All I've ever wanted was a family, a home with a fireplace and a lake view. I have the family. I have the home, but no fireplace. No lake view. The view outside my house is not one that I ever thought I would be looking at all these years later. We have been fixing up the house, and it's getting nicer. But it will never have a fireplace. Yes, we have to move. Am I too old to move?
I color my hair... in a desperate attempt to be... what? Younger? I've tried coloring it dark so I can let the silvers come out, but somehow my hair always sheds the dark color and goes light again. Is there a lesson for me in there? Don't try to be what you're not? Hello, Void... are you listening? Do you have an answer for me? I don't hear anything in response.
Who would be proud of me? I know my husband and sons are proud. My parents probably wouldn't care. I want to cry. I think my grandparents would be proud of me. I'm trying so hard and I'm just so tired. I want to just lie down but I don't. I have too much to do. I know it'll be there tomorrow, but I'll be older tomorrow. Unfortunately, the clock doesn't go in reverse. That silly thing about "spring forward, fall back" doesn't apply to real life. What a shame.
So what, right? Who cares what happens to me? I look old and I feel old. I don't try to be young. I don't know how to be old though. I always said that I'd get old, kicking and screaming all the way, but I don't feel that way anymore. Growing old gracefully seems a foreign concept, but it's what I want now. All except for the weight. I'm still trying to get rid of it. I have time and the heat of this area working against me. I want to go home. I want to breathe clean air. I want to have clean water to drink.
And dammit, I want that home with a fireplace on a lake.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
I look at my chin... single. It used to be a double chin, but I've got it back down to a single. Back to the eyes... they look like the life has been sucked right out of them. I look tired. I AM tired. Tired of life. Tired of trying. Tired of being beaten down again. Tired. Tired. Tired.
My classmates can't believe my age, and sometimes I can't believe it either. How did I get so old? I go to my P.E. class and don't understand why my body won't respond the way I want it to. Aren't I still 20 years old? No, honey. You're not. You have to wear a heart monitor and not try to keep up with everyone else. I feel like a beginner all over again. I hate it. Why am I in school again? Somehow the answer escapes me today.
I hate feeling like life has passed me by. All I've ever wanted was a family, a home with a fireplace and a lake view. I have the family. I have the home, but no fireplace. No lake view. The view outside my house is not one that I ever thought I would be looking at all these years later. We have been fixing up the house, and it's getting nicer. But it will never have a fireplace. Yes, we have to move. Am I too old to move?
I color my hair... in a desperate attempt to be... what? Younger? I've tried coloring it dark so I can let the silvers come out, but somehow my hair always sheds the dark color and goes light again. Is there a lesson for me in there? Don't try to be what you're not? Hello, Void... are you listening? Do you have an answer for me? I don't hear anything in response.
Who would be proud of me? I know my husband and sons are proud. My parents probably wouldn't care. I want to cry. I think my grandparents would be proud of me. I'm trying so hard and I'm just so tired. I want to just lie down but I don't. I have too much to do. I know it'll be there tomorrow, but I'll be older tomorrow. Unfortunately, the clock doesn't go in reverse. That silly thing about "spring forward, fall back" doesn't apply to real life. What a shame.
So what, right? Who cares what happens to me? I look old and I feel old. I don't try to be young. I don't know how to be old though. I always said that I'd get old, kicking and screaming all the way, but I don't feel that way anymore. Growing old gracefully seems a foreign concept, but it's what I want now. All except for the weight. I'm still trying to get rid of it. I have time and the heat of this area working against me. I want to go home. I want to breathe clean air. I want to have clean water to drink.
And dammit, I want that home with a fireplace on a lake.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Whatever Made Me Think I Could Do It All?
I have decided that I am making myself crazy. Okay, that's not quite accurate. My family would tell you that I've always been crazy, but then again, so are they. But I digress. Today was another eye-opener when I realized I was doing what I always did... taking on too much and stressing about it.
I thought when I joined Phi Theta Kappa and became Most Enhanced Member that I would relax a little and enjoy the limelight. But the thing you don't realize about the limelight is that it is addictive. So I found myself overdoing it once again, over-achiever that I am. The problem with being an over-achiever is that you don't understand why everyone else isn't the same way. So you find yourself frustrated with being the one to take on everything, to do everything, to plan everything, and when someone else doesn't supply what you need to get the job done, it's incredibly frustrating.
Case in point... I had decided (well, some people would say coerced) into joining the Honors Academy at Southwest and was convinced that it would do me and my degree some good if the words "Honors Academy" were on my sheepskin. In order to have that happen, I would have to get five Honors Contracts with my professors, which means a lot of extra work. Now, I've never been one to shy away from extra work if it will benefit me in the long run, but as time went on, I realized what had to happen in order to get all of this done. First of all, I would have to get all this extra work approved through the director of the Honors Academy. That meant it would not be work of my choosing, but something that had to be "approved". Not to my liking.
Second, I would have to have a place to run away and hide so I can do the work required. I had chosen to work in the Honors Suite, but after a disrupting afternoon in there yesterday, I wrote the director to find out what the rules were. He basically told me that if I needed quiet, to go somewhere else, which was a direct contradiction of what I had been told by my PTK advisor. So... I have decided to go back into the hallway and work there again. The problem with working in the hallway is that I am often interrupted by people coming by to say hello. Nothing wrong with that, and I love it when people think highly enough of me to spend their time with me. But it sometimes interrupts my flow. So even though it can be disruptive, I have decided that I will socialize in the hallway rather than the pseudo impression I now have of the Honors Suite.
Third, I am seriously thinking of abandoning an officership with PTK. Extra work... need I say more? Again with the disruption of flow. I chose my classes for this semester against the backdrop of not taking more than I can handle, and registering for those classes that would not only benefit my degree, but be entertaining as well. So why ruin it with more work? Do I really need all of that to get into the program of my choice? Do I need to get used to overburdening myself now, when all I really wanted was to finish and move on? Something to think about.
All of these things would greatly impact my home life, which is finally settling into... dare I say it... a nice FLOW. We all know where we are supposed to be and when, and who is going to drive whom to where and when everyone gets home. We know who is to get dinner ready and who is to do the shopping. We have rules for everything and I would be throwing them all into the fire, and throwing my family under the bus in the process. Since we have achieved a nice peace in my house, after all these years of trying, I am not willing to upset that peace for anything. We are all finding our way through the maze that is college and coming out with good grades and our sanity intact. I kinda want to keep it that way.
When did I become SO goal-oriented and SO used to being over-burdened that I was willing to sacrifice my family to keep being that stressed? My family needs me now an more than ever. My sons will only be with me for a couple more years, and if we don't build on our foundation, it's not only possible but likely that we won't be able to maintain our closeness once they are launched. Steve needs my support as much as I need his. The time has come to stop the merry-go-round and to travel in as straight a line as possible so we can have the security we have been looking for and needing for so long.
So... off we go, into the wild blue yonder. I will be turning down lots of opportunities. But it's like Steve and I always say when people try to pressure us into something, "it's not my problem". It's only hard to say that the first time, and I did that today. It will get much easier from this point on. So get ready for a whirlwind of "no's", World! It's a-comin' your way! It's time to enjoy my life and my college experience. Life is too short to be miserable. I'm letting miserable take a rest.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
I thought when I joined Phi Theta Kappa and became Most Enhanced Member that I would relax a little and enjoy the limelight. But the thing you don't realize about the limelight is that it is addictive. So I found myself overdoing it once again, over-achiever that I am. The problem with being an over-achiever is that you don't understand why everyone else isn't the same way. So you find yourself frustrated with being the one to take on everything, to do everything, to plan everything, and when someone else doesn't supply what you need to get the job done, it's incredibly frustrating.
Case in point... I had decided (well, some people would say coerced) into joining the Honors Academy at Southwest and was convinced that it would do me and my degree some good if the words "Honors Academy" were on my sheepskin. In order to have that happen, I would have to get five Honors Contracts with my professors, which means a lot of extra work. Now, I've never been one to shy away from extra work if it will benefit me in the long run, but as time went on, I realized what had to happen in order to get all of this done. First of all, I would have to get all this extra work approved through the director of the Honors Academy. That meant it would not be work of my choosing, but something that had to be "approved". Not to my liking.
Second, I would have to have a place to run away and hide so I can do the work required. I had chosen to work in the Honors Suite, but after a disrupting afternoon in there yesterday, I wrote the director to find out what the rules were. He basically told me that if I needed quiet, to go somewhere else, which was a direct contradiction of what I had been told by my PTK advisor. So... I have decided to go back into the hallway and work there again. The problem with working in the hallway is that I am often interrupted by people coming by to say hello. Nothing wrong with that, and I love it when people think highly enough of me to spend their time with me. But it sometimes interrupts my flow. So even though it can be disruptive, I have decided that I will socialize in the hallway rather than the pseudo impression I now have of the Honors Suite.
Third, I am seriously thinking of abandoning an officership with PTK. Extra work... need I say more? Again with the disruption of flow. I chose my classes for this semester against the backdrop of not taking more than I can handle, and registering for those classes that would not only benefit my degree, but be entertaining as well. So why ruin it with more work? Do I really need all of that to get into the program of my choice? Do I need to get used to overburdening myself now, when all I really wanted was to finish and move on? Something to think about.
All of these things would greatly impact my home life, which is finally settling into... dare I say it... a nice FLOW. We all know where we are supposed to be and when, and who is going to drive whom to where and when everyone gets home. We know who is to get dinner ready and who is to do the shopping. We have rules for everything and I would be throwing them all into the fire, and throwing my family under the bus in the process. Since we have achieved a nice peace in my house, after all these years of trying, I am not willing to upset that peace for anything. We are all finding our way through the maze that is college and coming out with good grades and our sanity intact. I kinda want to keep it that way.
When did I become SO goal-oriented and SO used to being over-burdened that I was willing to sacrifice my family to keep being that stressed? My family needs me now an more than ever. My sons will only be with me for a couple more years, and if we don't build on our foundation, it's not only possible but likely that we won't be able to maintain our closeness once they are launched. Steve needs my support as much as I need his. The time has come to stop the merry-go-round and to travel in as straight a line as possible so we can have the security we have been looking for and needing for so long.
So... off we go, into the wild blue yonder. I will be turning down lots of opportunities. But it's like Steve and I always say when people try to pressure us into something, "it's not my problem". It's only hard to say that the first time, and I did that today. It will get much easier from this point on. So get ready for a whirlwind of "no's", World! It's a-comin' your way! It's time to enjoy my life and my college experience. Life is too short to be miserable. I'm letting miserable take a rest.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Friday, September 2, 2011
The Problem With Days Off...
The problem with days off is that I never seem to have enough time to do all the things I have planned. There. I said it. I'm a busy lady, but sometimes I just can't get it all done. I woke up this morning knowing that I had a lot to do, but until I put pen to paper, I didn't have a visualization of what I have left to accomplish around the house before summer turns to fall and fall to winter. As I am a notorious list maker (and my family hates it when I make lists of chores), I am keeping my little list in the study until I am finished with my morning writing and reading. But here is a taste of what we have coming up.
1. Scrub rugs. I have several area rugs that have been vacationing in the garage for the summer. I have to put them out on the patio, hose them down, scrub with some antiseptic rug cleaner, and let them dry completely before letting them winter in the house. As we now have wood floors, the preparation for the return of the rugs was done this summer with proper washing and waxing. Now if I can only keep the dogs from using the rugs as their "facilities". *sigh* The challenge of being an animal lover...
2. Thin out the bean plants. I have a garden in the backyard for the first time ever, having had to ignore my husband's protests in favor of "grass". We haven't had grass since before we had dogs. The dogs ran it into mud, and I decided that with food prices the way they are, and with my classwork frying my brain, I needed a garden to help soothe my frazzled nerves. We have many things planted out there, but the plants that seem to be doing the best are the squash, corn, beans, cantalope and radishes. Some of our seeds never came up, so I have fall seeds to plant, which is #3 on my list.
3. Plant fall seeds. See #2. (I hate redundancy.)
4. Fix mouse. No it's not the kind that runs around testing my cat's agility. It's the kind I use for my laptop. The cover came off the USB connector and although I fixed it once, I will give it one more try before pronouncing it dead and having to run out to find the least expensive and most portable mouse for my needs.
5. Paint outside. We have been painting the outside of the house this year, in preparation for us moving out of this area. Now that the move has been delayed yet another three years, I'm not pushing the painting as hard, but it still needs to be done. It should have been done 15 years ago, and the fact that we are getting it done at all is a miracle in my fight against my husband who thinks it's just fine to let the wood rot, thank you very much. So, painting will have to go on this weekend, as will replacing boards on the house and garage, albeit very early in the day.
6. Move sticky plants. I don't know what these things are, but I suspect they are tiny bushes, so I am having them moved from what used to be a grassy side yard to along the fence that we are slowly replacing, one board at a time. See #22. I have seen our fence jumped before by one of our neighborhood thugs, so having some bushes that might deter them is fine by me. I will use what I have before going out and investing money I don't have in things that won't work.
7. Water outside plants. I have the water going on the garden right now, but also have some outside plants that need some water. It seems that if I don't think of it, it doesn't get done. So that will be one of the main chores I will see to today.
8. Water inside plants. Yes, I have those too. Some of them vacationed in the backyard for a while this summer, but I brought some back in to decorate my "little corner" of the study. I need the green to calm my frazzled nerves. See #2.
9. Edit home movies. Last week before classes began, I had Jason put all our old home movies on the external hard drive, converting them from VHS to what I hope will be nice DVD's. This is one of those ongoing things that nobody wants to do, yet I know it has to be done for the sake of posterity. Maybe I will have some time during Thanksgiving for this, or after the semester ends. At any rate, it's not going to happen this weekend. But I may have Jason copy them to the server, just so we have them in case the external hard drive takes a sudden fall. Something to think about...
10. Go for a bike ride. I have made it Steve's responsibility to make sure I get in an hour bike ride on Saturday. Now that I have gym class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I need one more workout per week to progress in my health. Wait... I'm trusting this to my husband? What was I thinking??? I'll have to make sure I remind him to take care of me.
11. Take pictures at the cemetery. Steve and I are volunteers for www.findagrave.com and haven't been out there since Memorial Day, and the requests are overflowing in my inbox. This weekend will be a nice time to do it, as long as we do it early in the day. If you haven't seen findagrave yet, let me tell you that it is a wonderful service that we do for people who can't get to their loved ones' resting place to pay their respects. We take requests, and I have made several of my own. We will also create a memorial for your loved one if they have been cremated and scattered, as my parents were. It's something to mark their place in time... to say that they were here. I think it's a nice thing to do.
12. Classwork! Oh my heavens... I have a ton of it to do, and I will get started just as soon as I'm finished writing. I'm procrastinating. Did I mention how I hate procrastination???
13. Put down the threshold. We had to take up part of the wood floor this summer when we found some molding going on. The boards have been replaced, but the threshold between the kitchen and laundry room has yet to be put back in place. I don't like it when things look unfinished.
14. Scrub poop area in study. Yes, my wonderful girl dogs have staked out a spot in my study to use the "facilities" whenever I am not around. You'd think it would be easier to let me know they want to go out instead of being yelled at. But I guess since they know WE go inside, they want to as well. I have to figure this one out yet.
15. Work on insulating the gym. As anyone who has read my blogs about the gym knows, I love my gym. We have put up a ceiling, installed an air conditioner, have heaters for winter, put down a rubber floor, and insulated the garage door. I have one wall that still needs insulating. I have the materials for it, but it just hasn't been done. Maybe I should move this up on the list, since winter will be here before I notice and I will be freezing out there once again.
16. Fix afghan. When Rocky was a puppy, she would jump up on my bed whenever I wasn't around and take to chewing on the afghan I made to keep me warm during the winter. She has unraveled part of it, and even though I have fixed it once already, it needs a little more care. Maybe I can get to that one of the evenings this weekend.
17. Put down quarter-round. This is not necessarily MY chore, but one that still needs doing since we put down the wood floor. It's ongoing, as quarter-round costs money and we don't have any. This will take some thought...
18. Give myself a pedicure! I meant to do this over last Thanksgiving, but never got around to it. Oh well. I'm always last on my list.
19. Get a haircut. Last on my list. See #18.
20. Get fabric for outside swing. We have a swing in our backyard that desperately needs a new cover and cushion. But since I don't have any money, this one will take some thought too. I can sew it, but I need money for the marine fabric. Maybe I can get it for Christmas, if we HAVE a Christmas this year. See money comment on #17. More thought...
21. Refinance the house!!! This is a big one, but am waiting on the husband to get his questions answered while the rest of us suffer due to his procrastination. See #12 and #17.
22. Replace boards on the fence. We are doing this a little at a time while we wait for the Titanic to roll up our front lawn. See #6 and #17. The wind storm of 1996 chewed up our boards pretty bad, and when Tucker was around, he would make short work of punching himself through the boards that were slightly cracked. I wish this one were going a little faster. I am so tired of seeing an uneven fence.
Is that enough for this weekend, or do you think I should just pack it in and give up? Ugh... I hate to even think about it, but I have to put all this aside while I do my classwork. Maybe one of my sons will be kind and do one of the chores for me while I study. Maybe not.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
1. Scrub rugs. I have several area rugs that have been vacationing in the garage for the summer. I have to put them out on the patio, hose them down, scrub with some antiseptic rug cleaner, and let them dry completely before letting them winter in the house. As we now have wood floors, the preparation for the return of the rugs was done this summer with proper washing and waxing. Now if I can only keep the dogs from using the rugs as their "facilities". *sigh* The challenge of being an animal lover...
2. Thin out the bean plants. I have a garden in the backyard for the first time ever, having had to ignore my husband's protests in favor of "grass". We haven't had grass since before we had dogs. The dogs ran it into mud, and I decided that with food prices the way they are, and with my classwork frying my brain, I needed a garden to help soothe my frazzled nerves. We have many things planted out there, but the plants that seem to be doing the best are the squash, corn, beans, cantalope and radishes. Some of our seeds never came up, so I have fall seeds to plant, which is #3 on my list.
3. Plant fall seeds. See #2. (I hate redundancy.)
4. Fix mouse. No it's not the kind that runs around testing my cat's agility. It's the kind I use for my laptop. The cover came off the USB connector and although I fixed it once, I will give it one more try before pronouncing it dead and having to run out to find the least expensive and most portable mouse for my needs.
5. Paint outside. We have been painting the outside of the house this year, in preparation for us moving out of this area. Now that the move has been delayed yet another three years, I'm not pushing the painting as hard, but it still needs to be done. It should have been done 15 years ago, and the fact that we are getting it done at all is a miracle in my fight against my husband who thinks it's just fine to let the wood rot, thank you very much. So, painting will have to go on this weekend, as will replacing boards on the house and garage, albeit very early in the day.
6. Move sticky plants. I don't know what these things are, but I suspect they are tiny bushes, so I am having them moved from what used to be a grassy side yard to along the fence that we are slowly replacing, one board at a time. See #22. I have seen our fence jumped before by one of our neighborhood thugs, so having some bushes that might deter them is fine by me. I will use what I have before going out and investing money I don't have in things that won't work.
7. Water outside plants. I have the water going on the garden right now, but also have some outside plants that need some water. It seems that if I don't think of it, it doesn't get done. So that will be one of the main chores I will see to today.
8. Water inside plants. Yes, I have those too. Some of them vacationed in the backyard for a while this summer, but I brought some back in to decorate my "little corner" of the study. I need the green to calm my frazzled nerves. See #2.
9. Edit home movies. Last week before classes began, I had Jason put all our old home movies on the external hard drive, converting them from VHS to what I hope will be nice DVD's. This is one of those ongoing things that nobody wants to do, yet I know it has to be done for the sake of posterity. Maybe I will have some time during Thanksgiving for this, or after the semester ends. At any rate, it's not going to happen this weekend. But I may have Jason copy them to the server, just so we have them in case the external hard drive takes a sudden fall. Something to think about...
10. Go for a bike ride. I have made it Steve's responsibility to make sure I get in an hour bike ride on Saturday. Now that I have gym class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I need one more workout per week to progress in my health. Wait... I'm trusting this to my husband? What was I thinking??? I'll have to make sure I remind him to take care of me.
11. Take pictures at the cemetery. Steve and I are volunteers for www.findagrave.com and haven't been out there since Memorial Day, and the requests are overflowing in my inbox. This weekend will be a nice time to do it, as long as we do it early in the day. If you haven't seen findagrave yet, let me tell you that it is a wonderful service that we do for people who can't get to their loved ones' resting place to pay their respects. We take requests, and I have made several of my own. We will also create a memorial for your loved one if they have been cremated and scattered, as my parents were. It's something to mark their place in time... to say that they were here. I think it's a nice thing to do.
12. Classwork! Oh my heavens... I have a ton of it to do, and I will get started just as soon as I'm finished writing. I'm procrastinating. Did I mention how I hate procrastination???
13. Put down the threshold. We had to take up part of the wood floor this summer when we found some molding going on. The boards have been replaced, but the threshold between the kitchen and laundry room has yet to be put back in place. I don't like it when things look unfinished.
14. Scrub poop area in study. Yes, my wonderful girl dogs have staked out a spot in my study to use the "facilities" whenever I am not around. You'd think it would be easier to let me know they want to go out instead of being yelled at. But I guess since they know WE go inside, they want to as well. I have to figure this one out yet.
15. Work on insulating the gym. As anyone who has read my blogs about the gym knows, I love my gym. We have put up a ceiling, installed an air conditioner, have heaters for winter, put down a rubber floor, and insulated the garage door. I have one wall that still needs insulating. I have the materials for it, but it just hasn't been done. Maybe I should move this up on the list, since winter will be here before I notice and I will be freezing out there once again.
16. Fix afghan. When Rocky was a puppy, she would jump up on my bed whenever I wasn't around and take to chewing on the afghan I made to keep me warm during the winter. She has unraveled part of it, and even though I have fixed it once already, it needs a little more care. Maybe I can get to that one of the evenings this weekend.
17. Put down quarter-round. This is not necessarily MY chore, but one that still needs doing since we put down the wood floor. It's ongoing, as quarter-round costs money and we don't have any. This will take some thought...
18. Give myself a pedicure! I meant to do this over last Thanksgiving, but never got around to it. Oh well. I'm always last on my list.
19. Get a haircut. Last on my list. See #18.
20. Get fabric for outside swing. We have a swing in our backyard that desperately needs a new cover and cushion. But since I don't have any money, this one will take some thought too. I can sew it, but I need money for the marine fabric. Maybe I can get it for Christmas, if we HAVE a Christmas this year. See money comment on #17. More thought...
21. Refinance the house!!! This is a big one, but am waiting on the husband to get his questions answered while the rest of us suffer due to his procrastination. See #12 and #17.
22. Replace boards on the fence. We are doing this a little at a time while we wait for the Titanic to roll up our front lawn. See #6 and #17. The wind storm of 1996 chewed up our boards pretty bad, and when Tucker was around, he would make short work of punching himself through the boards that were slightly cracked. I wish this one were going a little faster. I am so tired of seeing an uneven fence.
Is that enough for this weekend, or do you think I should just pack it in and give up? Ugh... I hate to even think about it, but I have to put all this aside while I do my classwork. Maybe one of my sons will be kind and do one of the chores for me while I study. Maybe not.
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The View from Within
Today I finished up my first week of my sophomore year at Southwest. There is so much to be said for going this far and not backing out. It takes determination and a little bit of insanity to do this at my age. But I am having fun as well as learning, and this will serve me the rest of my life. Let me tell you about the things I learned today.
In my first class, I learned that I am no longer 20 years old. Nor am I 30. Nor 40. Okay, let's face it. I'm not 50 either. My first class was a real eye opener. For the very first time since 1973, I had gym class. This isn't your average, touch-your-toes class. This is a real doggone aerobics, strength and flexibility class that the powers that be are hiding under the moniker of "physical conditioning". We have a textbook and will have to do discussion postings, but we are also required to do the hour-long, no-stop, run-till-you-drop symphony of walking, running, and otherwise torturous activities all directed with great enthusiasm by my stick-thin instructor. I think I hate thin people. I wonder if I was ever meant to BE one. This class will tell me. Although the class is required for my degree, I want this to be a turning point in my life, where physical activity is the norm. Next semester, I will take another physical education class and build on what happens this semester. After that, I will be at U.T. and have access to their excellent facilities, which I will make great use of between classes.
Next on my schedule today was Film. We watched an excellent silent film from 1927 entitled "Sunrise: A Story of Two Humans", and I realized that I had forgotten how great the old silents are. Every aspect of the film had to be thought out well in advance to send the exact message the director wanted to be seen. Every moment, every emotion, every camera angle, every lighting cue... all of it... was intended to evoke a specific emotion from the audience. I can't wait to write my journal on this film and to rent the movie for my family to enjoy. My son, Rhys, took this same film class last year and we will have much to talk about.
Last on my schedule today was my Contemporary American Literature class, and I realized how much I don't know about one of my favorite mediums: Literature. It is not uncommon for me to read before going to bed for the night. I find that it relaxes me and sets my brain up for a restful night. My professor in this class is extremely passionate about his work, and it shows. I can look forward to learning much from him, not just about literature, but how to structure and perfect my own writing.
Those three classes were not my only lessons this week. I also had a Microbiology class, which is making me into a germophobe, or at least more aware of the dangers to our human condition and the reasonable precautions that must be taken to ward off disease. And my final lesson this week was American History. Now, I LOVE American History, but this professor lives up to his wonderful reviews and is making me love it even more.
I can't wait to see how the rest of this semester plays out. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I am SO excited to see it all happen!
So... what was YOUR week like?
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
In my first class, I learned that I am no longer 20 years old. Nor am I 30. Nor 40. Okay, let's face it. I'm not 50 either. My first class was a real eye opener. For the very first time since 1973, I had gym class. This isn't your average, touch-your-toes class. This is a real doggone aerobics, strength and flexibility class that the powers that be are hiding under the moniker of "physical conditioning". We have a textbook and will have to do discussion postings, but we are also required to do the hour-long, no-stop, run-till-you-drop symphony of walking, running, and otherwise torturous activities all directed with great enthusiasm by my stick-thin instructor. I think I hate thin people. I wonder if I was ever meant to BE one. This class will tell me. Although the class is required for my degree, I want this to be a turning point in my life, where physical activity is the norm. Next semester, I will take another physical education class and build on what happens this semester. After that, I will be at U.T. and have access to their excellent facilities, which I will make great use of between classes.
Next on my schedule today was Film. We watched an excellent silent film from 1927 entitled "Sunrise: A Story of Two Humans", and I realized that I had forgotten how great the old silents are. Every aspect of the film had to be thought out well in advance to send the exact message the director wanted to be seen. Every moment, every emotion, every camera angle, every lighting cue... all of it... was intended to evoke a specific emotion from the audience. I can't wait to write my journal on this film and to rent the movie for my family to enjoy. My son, Rhys, took this same film class last year and we will have much to talk about.
Last on my schedule today was my Contemporary American Literature class, and I realized how much I don't know about one of my favorite mediums: Literature. It is not uncommon for me to read before going to bed for the night. I find that it relaxes me and sets my brain up for a restful night. My professor in this class is extremely passionate about his work, and it shows. I can look forward to learning much from him, not just about literature, but how to structure and perfect my own writing.
Those three classes were not my only lessons this week. I also had a Microbiology class, which is making me into a germophobe, or at least more aware of the dangers to our human condition and the reasonable precautions that must be taken to ward off disease. And my final lesson this week was American History. Now, I LOVE American History, but this professor lives up to his wonderful reviews and is making me love it even more.
I can't wait to see how the rest of this semester plays out. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I am SO excited to see it all happen!
So... what was YOUR week like?
Nazdrowie'
Paczki Puta
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