Angels Among Us

I believe.  Yes, I believe in angels.

We've had it rough for the past 10 years, my family and I.  There have been family losses, job losses and opportunity losses.  We've had health challenges, financial challenges and emotional challenges.  Most people would not have come through all of this in one piece.  But we are not most people, and we are protected by angels.

Yes, I believe in angels.  If there was ever any doubt, it vanished last week when my husband had a life-threatening event and almost lost his life. Wednesday started out as any normal day.  Well, as normal as they could be since Steve started his new job.  This job has put us on different schedules and has become taxing on all of us.  Anyway, I said goodbye that morning with a kiss and my usual "have a good day."  What I didn't realize is that everything that matters to you can be taken away in the blink of an eye. 

Wednesday was three days until the start of classes, and I was looking forward (sic) to sitting in the financial aid melting pot for 3 1/2 hours.  Once finished, I was on my way to getting my parking decal renewed, when I received a call from a number I didn't recognize.  Normally, I will let those go to voice mail, but the prefix on the number had me thinking that it could have something to do with school, so I picked up.  What I heard next was not what I expected.

The voice at the other end of the phone was from someone at the Trauma Center telling me that my husband of 30 years had been in an accident and was in their care.  I was strangely calm, as if this was something planned and expected.  I listened as he explained what happened and my only question was "Is he alive?"  The answer was yes, and he was alert and somewhat oriented.  I could speak to him if I wished.  Well, hell YES I want to speak to him!  It was then that the story started to piece together.

Steve told me that he was at a client's house on the front porch when he was stung in the back of the neck by two yellow jackets.  Steve is deathly allergic to those stings, but I was still unprepared for what he told me.  He got in the car, started to drive, and about 3 blocks later, started to lose his vision and decided to pull over and call me.  Thank God that didn't happen.  Let me explain.

If Steve had been successful in pulling the car over and putting it in Park, no one would know that there was anything wrong and he would have died.  His blood pressure had dropped and he went into anaphylactic shock behind the wheel.  Since he did not get it to park, the car hit a telephone pole at what must have been a good clip, because it was severed into 3 pieces.  The windshield was smashed.  The radiator and fan flew out the front of the grill.  The muffler and exhaust pipes hit the ground.  The airbags deployed.  The car stopped.  If it had not happened or no one was there to see it happen, my husband would not have lived.  But this happened right in front of a school and there were a lot of people around him immediately.  Yes, I believe in angels.  If this had happened a half hour later, the children and parents would have been there and only heaven knows what kind of toll this accident would have taken on them. 

I believe that everything happened exactly as it should have for him to be alive.  There were people around him immediately, helping him and calling for help.  There were 6 ambulances and 2 firetrucks there almost immediately.  The accident happened close to The Med and the Elvis Presley Trauma Center, and that is where he was taken.  We just got health insurance a few weeks prior, and he has workmen's compensation because this happened while he was on the job.  He should have internal injuries or broken bones, but he does not.  Yes, I believe in angels.

Who else but an angel could have saved my husband from death by helping him to hit a telephone pole instead of letting him park the car?  His car protected him from serious injury.  (He is, however, still suffering with deep bruises and the pain from the airbags hitting his chest.)  The angels who came to his aid got help to him immediately.  The angels who manned the ambulances got him stabilized and safely to the Trauma Center.  The angels at the Trauma Center took care of him until he was released to go home, and they made sure I was cared for as well.  So, yes, I believe in angels.

If there was ever any doubt, take a look at the pictures I took of what is left of our Maxima.  The car is a total loss because there was no collision insurance on it, but it has forced us to make changes in our lives.  Look at that car and then tell me I'm wrong.  I have good reason to believe in angels.  Whether human or celestial, they saved my husband and gave me back my marriage, my focus and my perspective.  Yes, there are angels among us.  Sometimes they wear wings.  At other times, they wear scrubs.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

 P.S.  Thank you, Maxima, for your years of dedicated service to my family.  We will miss you.

Sometimes I Think... Other Times I Weep

I don't know why, but while I was watching tv tonight, I felt a little weepy.  I fought back the urge and realized how very tired I am.  I have had an exhausting 10 or 11 weeks.  I spent most of the time in school, in a program that I really want to be in.  But with that comes a great deal of jockeying in the household, not all of it good.

My family has had to take over everything during my summer semester.  That's an unusual thing for me to let happen.  Usually, I am the person who takes care of everyone and everything.  And even though I am still "directing traffic" so to speak, it still feels like I am letting my family down by having them cover the bases in my absence.  Now that I am on my summer break, I am catching up on all the myriad of chores I have let slip during my school days.

I'm a week into my summer break and still I have not had a rest.  Maybe that was the reason for my weepiness earlier today.  During this past week, I have been mending quilts, re-covering my dining room chairs and making kielbasa.  I see postings from other people about how they are going out and "partying", and I am still working.  It's not that I mind the work; it's just that sometimes I would like a respite from it. I never get to go fishing anymore.  I never get to go out, and I only visit people when it's forced upon me, because I'm just too busy to do it otherwise.  I don't even have time to call a friend back when she has left me a message several days ago.

I look at the plans I have for my life and realize that it's slipping away.  When I was making the sausage this week, I couldn't help but think of my grandmothers, my great-grandmothers, my godmother and godfather, and all the other relatives that left this life too soon.  I thought of them doing the very same thing that I was doing right then:  making sausage.  To my knowledge, I am the only person in the family to carry on their tradition of making authentic Polish food by hand, in the old-fashioned way.  I smile at the thought, but then I think of the life my grandfather would have liked to have, and wonder if I have regressed instead of going forward, as he might have wanted me to do.  I wonder if this is what I am supposed to do, or am I just tired?

When I am tired, I get weepy.  Tonight is one of those times.  I know that I need a good long rest, and I wonder if I will ever get it.  Does everyone feel this way or is this something that only I am feeling?  In these times of reflection, I think way too deeply for my state of mind.  I am missing my family, and there is nothing I can do except go through it.  There are times that I feel like giving up, but what would that get me?  Just more unfulfilled hopes and dreams, so onward I go.  Maybe this is how my grandfather felt when cancer was taking his strength.  Maybe I am supposed to keep on fighting.  Maybe.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

101 Things To Do Over My Summer Break

Okay, so maybe I don't have 101 things to do, but I can get darned close if I try.  Today is my last day of the summer semester, and it has been eye-opening, so let's start with that. This past semester held some revelations for me:

Firstly, I had a "friend" whose true self manifested during this semester, and I have decided to do without her in my life.  It's not that I couldn't tolerate her behavior, but I choose to only have stable people in the Third Act.  Everyone has their ups and downs, but this one needs to be on Ritalin.  Enough!

Secondly, I really AM as smart as I think I am, and am hoping that I will advance to the next stage of the program to prove it to myself.  My gut tells me that I will advance, but there is always that chance that I won't.  We'll see.  Grades come out next week.

Thirdly, I have decided that if I don't make it through the program, I am not going to continue in school.  At that point, I feel like I would be beating a dead horse, and for what?  My kielbasa business is doing well, and I can focus on that.  So, no more school after this unless I make it through, and then I will go on to OT school.

Now with all that being said, today I have my last exam and a field trip to a burn unit.  I am looking forward to being done so I can focus on other things.  My house has gone to hell over the last 10 weeks, and I am going to get that back in order.  So, here's my list of what I can expect of myself in the next 3 weeks.

1.  Get old armoire and turn it into a quilt cabinet.  Actually, I have this one under control.  I am picking up the armoire tomorrow.  Granted, I have to rent a truck to do it, but it will get done.

2.  Make 100 pounds of kielbasa.  I have pre-orders of 32 pounds for this batch, but I am sure as these clients spread the word, more are on the way.  I have given out "tastes" of cooked kielbasa to several clients, with rave reviews.

3.  Get back on my diet and exercise!  This is a biggie.  It can't wait any longer.  I have my kitchen in order, so I can plan many nutritious meals.  A combination of great meals and progressive exercise will result in a loss of 3% bodyfat in the next 3 weeks.  That's what I'm shooting for.  Also, I want to make it a habit again.  I'm tired of exercise falling by the wayside and my health suffering for it.  So Step #1 will be to plan my fat attack on paper (tonight), and to take my measurements tomorrow morning.  I hate to see what kind of damage has been done to my body, but after I take the measurements, I will put that piece of paper away until I take them again.  No use in stressing about it.  Just suck it up, soldier, and move on.

4.  Mending, mending, mending... I have so much of it that I have to put it on the list or it won't get done.

5.  Re-cover 2 dining room chairs.  I can do it myself, and have in the past.  So 2 will get covered.

6.  Move more monkey grass.  I have been moving monkey grass to cover a very barren piece of our property.  The oak tree soaks up any nutrients in that area, and the only thing I know for sure that I can't kill is monkey grass.  So I will move some more of those buggers and hope for the best.

7.  Get to know my guitar again.  I just had my guitar worked on so it will be easier for me to play, and I want to take full advantage of it.  I need it after this semester of killing my brain cells.

8.  Get some watch batteries.  I have lots of watches, and almost all of them need a new battery.  Geesh.

9.  Get new lights for the front of the house.  The old ones look pitiful.  Time for some new friends.

10.  Refresh your memory on kinesiology.

I guess that's not 101, but only 10, but it's 10 big ones.  Anyone who wants me to make myself nuts coming up with the other 91 things, can write me.  I'm sure I can come up with something inane and useless.


Wish I could just take a vacation...

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta