School Daze and The Lone Car Blues

Life has been tough since we lost our Maxima in a car accident a few weeks ago, but indulge me as I ponder the complexities we now face. Having only one set of wheels, when at this time last year we had three sets, is difficult on so many levels. 

Being without wheels has taken an enormous toll on my ability to participate in study groups and extra activities at school.  It's not that I want to participate really, as the classwork and studying takes about all the energy I have.  I study late into the night (an unknown for me) and then I go to bed, only to start it all over again in the morning.  Someone has to drive me to class in the morning, five days a week.  And someone has to drive me home.  Most of the time, Steve comes to get me, but that takes away from his new job and I feel bad about that.  Sometimes I stay to work on techniques that I have to learn for practicals.  I have a great lab partner that brings me home when we stay to work.  But that's not the end of it.

Rhys has to get to and from school as well.  He is on another campus in town, and his schedule is completely different from mine, so it's another delivery and pickup that Steve has to take care of.  That means more time away from his new job.  Then there is the matter of Jason looking for a job.  If he needs to go to an interview, it throws another monkey wrench into the mix.  Jason also ran all of the errands during the day when we had another vehicle.  That can't happen now, so it's being done in the evenings and on weekends.  It's an unusual circumstance for us and one I'm not enjoying.  You see, I get the brunt of everyone's frustration when I walk through the door.  


I'm not being blamed for our lack of a car, but when everyone feels free to dump on me, it makes it very difficult for me to focus on what I have to do.  Have I mentioned that my financial aid is STILL being held up because either:  The University of Memphis is STILL holding onto my transcript or the financial aid office at Southwest is doing their usual "sit on your brains" exercise.  What to do, what to do. 

I wish there was an easy answer for this.  We don't have money for another car and no way to pay back a loan if we took one out.  I have only 2 weeks until I have to make some kind of payment on my account at college, and financial aid should have taken care of it already, but here I am still waiting for it.  The only answer I have right now is that I have to stay in school or nothing will ever change.  We will never be able to move north and get that cottage on a lake, and we will have to stay here, with low pay and less than optimal working conditions.  Somehow it all has to work out.  I don't have any real answers, except to keep on plugging.  I need some help though.  Are you listening, God?

So here I am, trying to work through my frustrations without taking them out on anyone.  It's tough because not only do I not have anyone I can dump on, but I have to be the pillar that my family needs AND keep going in school.  I don't have much longer... just until the end of May and then taking my board exam in July.  But it's the getting there that is working against me.  Financial aid is a real problem right now and if that were resolved, that would be a major stressor off me.  Exams, practicals and assignments are all stressors as well, and I am doing the best I can to make all the pieces come together. 

All I can do is try.  And I am.  There is an exam tomorrow morning and I'm as prepared as I can be for right now.   I have a policy that I stop studying the night before an exam and give myself some time off to relax.  Then I go to bed early and get a good night's sleep.  I get up either around 3am or 4am, depending on how I feel.  Then I study for about another hour or so and get ready to do battle.  It's worked in the past, and all I can do is hope it works this time too.  But it sure wouldn't hurt to have an angel on my shoulder tomorrow.  Are you listening, God?

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta