Too Much. Not Enough.

 

I guess I must be failing.  The more I try, the worse it gets.  The last month has been really rough.  Just when I turn my back, life hits me again.

We lost two of our fur children, Cinnamon and Bella.  Not Cinnamon.  Not Bella.  Please.  That makes three since July.  No warning.  But not Cinnamon.  Not Bella.  Couldn’t it be one of the others that I’m not as dedicated to?  What am I gonna do now? I have all this love and nowhere to put it.  So it comes out through my eyes. 

I’m failing.  Every death weakens my spirit.  My body follows.  Been so sick since Bella left us.  I miss her so much.  She has been my touchstone since Toby died.  And now I don’t have her either.  If only I could go home.  But it’s not time.

If only.

Na’zdrowie

Paczki Puta

Just a Thought Before I Go

 I guess I have to comment on this, like the rest of the world is doing.

Lisa Marie. She’s gone home to be with her father and son.  She always looked to me like she was sickly… as if she wasn’t long for this world.  She had so many advantages, and also so much trauma.  Being born into privilege does not protect you from the hardships that this world has to offer though; it just makes it more comfortable.  

I’m sorry that she’s gone, but it seems appropriate.  I can’t be the only one who feels like a circle has been closed and the torch passed.  It feels that since her father was portrayed so brilliantly in”Elvis”, she did what she came here to do, to ensure her father’s legacy.  Her contract is fulfilled.  It feels right.

Na’zdrowie,

Paczki Puta