Wonderful Wanda

Wanda F. Wilson

A Lady Never Tells Her Age - January 30, 2015

Her name was Wanda.  She was a character.  I mean that in a good way.  I met her years ago when I was working at Opera Memphis as their wig and makeup designer.  After our regular rehearsals during Hell Week, the production team would go to various spots to have our midnight meetings.  One of those times, we went to at the P&H Cafe, and it quickly became a favorite nightspot for me and my crew after shows closed.  

Wanda welcomed everyone to her place.  It was her living room.  We were her family and we quickly got on a first name basis.  She dressed eccentrically, from the hat and wig on her head, to the shoes on her feet to the jewelry she wore and the polish on her long fingernails.  She explained to me once how one day she started wearing wigs daily because her hair was too thin and it was just too much trouble to take care of.  The wigs became her signature, and along with her hats, were also her trademark.  She came to be known for her eccentricity, but she did not live eccentrically.  Her home was a small bungalow in an eclectic part of Memphis, and she invited me there once during the Halloween season.

Wanda had regular events at the P&H which, for those of you unfamiliar with the moniker, means "Poor and Hungry".  One of her events was a Costume Contest at Halloween.  It happened to coincide with a costume day where I worked, so when I told Wanda about it and my idea to dress as her, she instantly loved the idea and invited me to come to her house, where she showed me what she was made of.  "Wow", was all I could think, as she showed me her wardrobe of wigs, hats, dresses, boots and shoes, and jewelry.  Her wardrobe would be the envy of any actress, if they only knew it existed.  She happily brought out some dresses that she would like to see on me, and we spent the afternoon playing dress-up.  I felt as if I had found a good friend or mother-figure that I so desperately wanted and needed at that time.  After selecting the proper outfit, we completed the selection with one of her trademark wigs, hat and jewelry.  I wore my own boots, but only after I received her approval.  Out the door I went, knowing that not only did I have the most wonderful costume ever, but also that I had a surprise in store for Miss Wanda.

After my successful debut at work as Miss Wanda, my husband and I were to attend a costume party at The Castle in Memphis.  As we left the party, we drove near the P&H, and decided to drop in.  When we walked in, the place fell silent, as the fake Wanda made her way to the original and sat at her table, after being welcomed with her characteristic hug, saved for everyone.  We stayed for the costume contest, and after some deliberation, which didn't take long at all, the fake Wanda won!  I felt somewhat of a fraud for accepting the prize, but gratefully accepted and proceeded to buy the house a round of drinks and burgers.  Wanda gave and Wanda received.  We took a picture together that night, standing back to back in a mirror image.  She put the picture up on the wall at the P&H.  It was wonderful and I felt loved.

As I grew to regard the P&H as my regular spot, I would bring my crew from the opera there on closing nights.  It was my custom to treat my girls to a beer and burger party to thank them for all the hard work they did, and yes, it was all on me.  We stayed until the wee hours of the morning, and on some occasions, closed the place down.  I loved giving the girls a treat, and loved giving Wanda my business.  It felt like home.

On one occasion, I wore one of my favorite sweaters to the P&H.  It was black, grey and white, and looked like a patchwork quilt in knitted yarn.  Wanda loved it.  I wanted to give it to her, so I asked her if she would like to trade for it.  Wanda did, and she brought out a sweatshirt in my size that said "I spent the night with Wanda".  I loved it and the trade was made.  I went to change and came out with the sweater in hand and the sweatshirt on my back.  I never saw her wear the sweater, but it made me feel good to know that I had done something personal for her.

As my health changed near the year 2000, I knew that I couldn't continue to work my day job and the opera job too, and I hesitated in telling Wanda that I would be leaving my opera job.  When I shared this bit of information with her, she said that she was upset because she thought she might never see me again.  Unfortunately, she was right.  After leaving the opera, my husband and I came back to visit her, but she was never there.  It was always too early in the day or she was off that night.  I had heard that she sold part of the business so she could take it a little easier, and it bothered me that I had let her go so quickly after leaving the opera.  

Wanda passed away this past Friday, January 30, 2015.  In a year of endings for me, she began her new beginning.  She never told me her spiritual beliefs, but it never mattered.  She was my friend, and that's how I'll always remember her.  When the movie, "Poor and Hungry", was being filmed, she invited me to come and be in the closing credits.  I brought my young son, Rhys, with me, and although I don't know if we made it to the credits, I like to think that we did.  After all, we were "poor and hungry" too.  

Rest in peace, Wanda.  I love you too, my friend.  

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta