The Hazing Continues

NOTE:  This is a blog post that I wrote on the 20th of January, 2014, but have taken down until I am safely out of the reach of the idiots that run the program I am in at school.  Enjoy.


I can't believe it is already the 20th of January and I haven't written anything about this semester.  Even though it just began slightly over a week ago, this semester is shaping up to be everything that has been promised:  The worst semester we will have.

My first week began with two practicals, an exam and a quiz.  I did fine on the quiz.  I think I did fine on the exam.  Can't remember if we got those grades back yet.  I usually write those things down.  Did fine on one practical but not on the other and have to repeat it tomorrow after class.  *sigh*  All that in one week, along with mind-numbing lectures, a group project this week (which are always SO much fun), an in-service individual presentation, and another exam.  AND I have been sick.  Sick enough to take an antibiotic.  AND we have issues with finding jobs and no money to speak of.

When I was young, we used to say "Say UNCLE" when we reached a point of surrender.  UNCLE!!!  UNCLE!!!  Wait... it worked when I was young.  Why isn't there anyone around to let me have some rest now?  Oh yeah... that growing up thing.  I have to be the grown-up.  If I'd known that being an adult was such a pain, I would have stayed a child... or at least tried to enjoy my childhood a little more instead of rushing to be a grown-up.

I can't help but feel that every semester has been an exercise in hazing.  The schedule is never consistent; we never have a schedule we can count on.  I keep hearing things like "you have to listen to me".  Yeah, honey, we only have to listen for another 30 classroom sessions.  Yes, we are counting it down.  I have heard it from a lot of people.  I haven't heard anyone say that they will be sorry when this is over.  For someone like me, putting me back in a classroom after being in a clinical setting is like being a caged animal.  I WANT to be out of school and get our lives on track!

I've heard some things from instructors and therapists in clinic about keeping in touch.  Honestly, after I'm done, it will take a while before I keep in touch with anyone.  My focus will be on getting a job and becoming the best that I can be for my sake and for my family.

I need my sanity back.  "These are the times that try men's souls."  Who said that?  Thomas Paine?  He was right.  I'm trying, really I am.  But I have too much going on.  I am starting to understand why people wander away from their lives and never come back.  You just get to the point that you can't take anymore and anything else feels like relief.  I will try not to wander away... but I make no promises.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta