Silver and Gold, and Everything In Between (or How I Spent My Winter Vacation)

Every now and then, when life gets to be too much for me to handle, I have to go home to Chicago to remember who I am. I spent a week there recently, visiting with my aunt, uncle and cousins on the Pluskota side. Such a good visit too. It was a trip of memories, of tears, and of laughter.

First on the list was the visit to Bobak's, a traditional Polish deli on the south side, just a mile or two away from Midway airport. I had never been there, and was astounded to see the butcher cases filled to the brim with all kinds of lunchmeats, cheeses and sausages. With all my knowledge in health and fitness, I gasped when I realized that, for years, my family has been filling myself with these delicacies... and all the fat and heart disease that goes with them. That's when it all started... the flooding memories. I remembered my parents, grandparents and great-grandparents, and how they struggled with their health issues. Now I clearly see the path that they were on, without the knowledge that it would hurt them someday.

As Uncle Jerry loaded up his cart with all the wonderful things from his childhood, I noticed him. I mean REALLY noticed him. I realized that this wonderful man, who I have known since he was a teenager, is living hard. I saw the silver of his hair, the lines in his face, and the light from his eyes, fading but not gone. It made me sad to think I have missed so much of his life, and how much he has missed of mine. We had not always been in contact... but each knew the other was there in a pinch. He grieves, like I do, for a happier time when we were all young, full of piss and vinegar, and always had family to come back to. Time had no meaning. Now it means everything. As I choked back tears in remembrance, Uncle Jerry, Aunt Pat, Dennis and I sat down to lunch at Bobak's. They all had some of the traditional foods, and me? I was so boring with my chicken, rice and vegetables. *sigh* Dennis teased me relentlessly about my choice of lunch, and that's okay. Dennis wouldn't be Dennis if he didn't give me shit about something or other. We are family that doesn't take offense to something the others say, and don't hesitate to let someone know when a line is crossed. I came to Chicago specifically at this time because I knew Dennis would be there as well. (I love you, cuz!)

The next day was Monday... and that meant a full day and Monday Night Football. But before we could sit down and enjoy the game (or not, depending on how the Bears are playing), Dennis and I had planned on an excursion to two cemeteries... both to pay our respects and to find the graves of our great-grandparents, Felix and Mary Cieslak. I was thrilled when Uncle Jerry and Aunt Pat let me know they were coming too. I hadn't asked them previously because I didn't know if this was something that would upset them. I knew what effect it would have on me. It was to complete a circle. So, first up after breakfast at IHOP was Holy Cross Cemetery, and paying our respects to my grandparents, Joe and Sophie Pluskota, who were Uncle Jerry's parents. We trudged through about 8 inches of snow to get to the site, which we all knew by heart. We cleared the stones of ice and snow and stood in tears of remembrance for the two people who had meant so much to us.

We went further... with Dennis and I going in opposite directions to find the stones of Sylvester and Arlene Pyrz, my Uncle Pete and Aunt Shirley. And we DID find them. Only after surveying stakes in the ground that had been numbered according to plots. We were clearing off stones... me on one side, and Dennis on the other. And we found them. Right between one stone I had cleared on one side and one that Dennis had cleared on the other. This was after I had been told to get back in the truck... it was too cold... the snow was too deep... but I kept going. I wrapped my scarf around my head and neck and kept going until we found what we came for. I had never seen my Uncle Pete's headstone. He passed in January of 1967 and the ground was frozen at the time. I loved him to death... and still do.

We had some remembrance time there and got back in the truck to drive out. I wanted to show them my family plot on the Kruczynski side, so stopped at the St. Michael's section and cleared off a couple of stones for Dennis to see. My grandmother, great-grandmother and great-great grandparents are all there. If there is an open spot, (which I haven't found out yet), I will ask if I can have it. Or not. But it's a nice thought.

Next up was the visit to St. Michael Polish National Cemetery in Highland, Indiana... or is it Hammond... never did quite figure that out. We found it though. It's a very, very old cemetery, with an iron gate and a road that hadn't been traveled in quite some time. I said "Do you think we should go in?" Uncle Jerry said "We can handle this." And with that, he put his truck into 4-wheel drive. I said, "We're all going to hell" and we drove in. There is a reddish brown chapel on the left, about in the middle of the cemetery, and my memory of the place as I saw it in 1981, was not reliable. Dennis had been a pallbearer for our great-grandmother, Mary Cieslak (Old Busia, we called her), and remembered vaguely that they had to lift the casket over standing headstones. Uncle Jerry went to the end of the road and turned around. He crept the truck ever so slowly, until Dennis said "I see LAK". He was out like a shot. I looked from my angle and saw "IESLAK". I jumped out and we both ran over to the stone. There it was. Felix and Mary Cieslak, our great-grandparents, who we knew and loved well. The stone is about 3 feet tall (maybe a bit less) and is an orange-brown color. But there is stands. We were SO lucky to have found it. More memories flowed for all of us... more tears... and more happiness. I drew a heart in the snow on top of the stone. We got back into the truck, and Uncle Jerry said "I need a beer." We all agreed that our next stop would be Kilroy's, where we met up with my cousin Tracy, and all shared our memories of the day and the wonderful people we were all privileged to have had in our lives. Right here I would like to mention that Tracy did not know me growing up, but we are soul-sisters in just about every way. We connected on a very deep level, and that girl will always have a special place in my heart.

Our next stop was the clinic where my cousin, Sue, works. She did not know we were coming, and may not have even known I was coming into town. But we waited patiently for someone to come to the front desk, and then waited unpatiently... then I shouted to get someone's attention. A woman came in with her child (obviously the next scheduled appointment) and just as Sue rounded the corner, I said "Whose butt do I have to kiss to be seen here?" She came around the desk and gave me a huge hug. I hadn't seen Sue since my father's wake a year earlier, and I have resolved that it won't take another funeral for me to see these people again. We told Sue about having a Monday Night Football party and she said she would come. She didn't disappoint. I was thrilled to see her, and everyone who came that evening. We had a good time, and it ended much too soon.

The next day was Tuesday, and Dennis had to catch an early flight back to Texas, which is his current residence. It felt empty with him gone, and I have only seen him twice in 20 years... both times in a six month period. DON'T do that again, Dennis! I won't live that long! Rant over. Tracy and I met back up at Uncle Jerry's place in Lynwood and we all talked about what we would do for New Year's Eve at her house. In the course of our planning, I don't know who said it, but it was decided that Tracy and I would come to Uncle Jerry's place and make Busia's pierogi recipe in the morning (since I'm the only one in the family who had it... my brother Don THINKS he has it... haha) and Uncle Jerry and Hank would make fish in the afternoon. Then we would bring it all to Tracy's house and have some drinks with Amy's family. So... Tracy and I went in search of ingredients. We went to several places to find dry cottage cheese and came up empty. What we did find was farmer's cheese with Polish writing on it at a local market in Cal City. We bought up all they had. I kinda figured we had more than we needed, but I wanted to be sure we didn't run short. I remember pierogi going very quickly when we were young. Anyway, after finding our ingredients, we met up again at 2pm at Popolano's in Lansing to see Alfreda (Fritzie) Kurz and Mitzie and Bernie Stone. Fritzie is my grandmother Sophie's first cousin on her father's side, and Mitzie is my father's first cousin, but we all grew up knowing each other, so it's all good. I didn't know if I would recognize Fritzie, but as soon as we got there, I saw her getting out of her car and knew her immediately. I said "Where are you going, young lady?" and she gave me that Cieslak smile that reminded me SO much of Busia.

The next few hours were spent reminiscing with Fritzie, Mitzie, Bernie, Uncle Jerry, Aunt Pat and Tracy. Oh and here's the weird thing... while there, the waitress called my uncle "Uncle Jerry". I looked at her and then at him. He went on to tell me that they (Grace and Dave) had a place across from my parents' place in Wisconsin. She looked at me and said "Wait... are you LYNN???" She went on to tell me that my mother talked about me all the time and they were Grace and Dave LUCK, who I had gone to school with! Oh. My. God. How small this world is getting. (Thank you for the reminder. I will write Grace this evening.) We all got to talking about the spirit world and how my grandfather (Dzia Dzia) saw his parents after they had passed years earlier. I was telling them how I've had visitors as well, and one of the ways I knew was that I would put my glass of iced tea down in a certain spot and it would shatter. Just then, I picked up my water glass and it broke about and inch and a half from the bottom, for absolutely no reason. There was no seam at that spot. The glass was not too cold and the table was not too hot. It just shattered. While the waitstaff hurried to clear the mess, we all sat there in amazement, still shocked at how I had said it and it happened. If there was ever any doubt, it's gone now. Once lunch was over, and before Fritzie got away from us, we moved to the bar area and took a group picture. I will never forget that luncheon, and everyone agreed not to let so much time go by without getting together again. Mission accomplished.

The next day was Wednesday, and I finally got a chance to have some downtime at JJ Kelley's. It's a nice little place, with great food and lots of atmosphere. Tracy works there and it was just like being home. By the way... for the record, JJ Kelley's has a much better fish platter than Popolano's... just in case there was any doubt.

Thursday... and time to make the pierogi. I did the mixing... Tracy and I did the taste testing. I had to alter the recipe due to using farmer's cheese instead of dry cottage cheese. Once we were satisfied that the filling was exactly as it should be, I made the dough... and BOY did I make the dough! I did 4 batches of it... used up all the flour and eggs I could find (went out and got more). Tracy did the filling and pinching (thank God... I was never good at that part) and Aunt Pat did the boiling. We saved the frying for later on that night at Tracy's. And BOY were they good! The only thing that was better was sharing them (and the fish!) with the family. Oh man. What a feast! What great company! What a way to spend New Year's Eve... with people I had not ever thought I would see again all in the same room... bullshitting like we used to. Old friends... good friends... new and old memories... all golden.

Amy and her husband came, and I got to meet Arly, who I knew only through Facebook at this point. Arly is named for her grandmother, my godmother, Aunt Shirley (given name Arlene). Arly is a delightful girl... smart and inquisitive. I also got to meet Rylee, who is Tracy's daughter. Rylee is also a very bright girl and a delight to be around. In the course of the evening, I had given out some amethysts, which were in my purse, but are not normally. I knew there was SOME reason for me to bring them with me, and I knew that reason was my family. The stones were meant to be given out. At one point in the evening, Hank said "We have something for you." I said "Okay" but Hank again said "Lynn, we HAVE something for you!" Tracy came out with Busia's afghan in her hands and put it in mine. Tracy and I both cried big crocodile tears. I remember watching Busia make that afghan in the late 60's or early 70's. It's heavy... made of wool, not that fake wool crap. It's an old lady's afghan... made of granny squares divided by black yarn... and now it's in my home. Again, Tracy and I have a very special bond. It's not going anywhere anytime soon. We all spent the evening talking about old and new things, memories and spirituality. When midnight came, we were all safe in our own homes (in my case, in my room), away from the drunks on the road. I couldn't think of a better way to end the old year.

I was still there in Chicago for two more days, but honestly, other than visiting Amy at her home and having her cut my hair, and sending all my assorted goodies (kielbasa, White Castles and Fannie May candies) back to Memphis, I can't tell you what I did... because I really don't know. The time came and it went. My flight back to Memphis was a saga in itself. But no more for now. I have crops to harvest and Mafia to wipe out. Haha... I love Facebook.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

P.S. Tracy will get the afghan back when I pass. I love you, Tracy!!!

The Formula or "Tales From The Gym"

I've had quite a few people ask me what I'm doing regarding my health, and I've promised to post the formula. Yes, there is a formula. You're not gonna like it, folks. It's rough. It's tough. And I've made the commitment to do it. So, for the brave... here it is.

Nutrition (Notice I did not say DIET.)

I keep my nutrient ratios as close to this as I can:

30% protein (lean meats and NOTHING CURED)
20% fat (olive oil, avocado, peanut butter)
50% complex carbohydrates (you know, the kind found in nature)

Yes, calories DO count. So count them back. There is a great little program out there that you can use online for free. Yes, I said FREE. Free is a magic word to me. The site is www.fitday.com. There you can record all your food and activities. AND your weight. You cannot post your calipers there. If anyone needs help with calipers, I can do it for you. What is a caliper, you ask? It's a bodyfold measurement of your fat. Yeah, it's ugly, I know. But in order to go somewhere, you've got to know where you've been. There is a magic caloric number for every person. Mine is 1667. So I stay below that most days.

Activity

You notice I did not say exercise. People freak out when I use the "E" word. So we're going to call this "activity".

I activate 6 days out of 7. I make myself rest on the 7th day, just usually because I'm sore by then.

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays... these are my long gym days. I will spend 2 hours in the gym doing activity.

Five minutes of warmup on the treadmill. This is NOT optional, folks! You have to warm up! Your body will thank you, and I won't have to nag you.

30 to 40 minutes of circuit training. I variate between the two. This is weight training. Yeah yeah, I know... you think you'll look like a muscle man... it hurts... blah blah blah. Don't talk to me about how it hurts. I'M doing it! I work every part of the body I can. And it ain't pretty. I sweat, I grunt like a pig, and I'm exhilarated when I'm done.

15 minutes of core training. Again, not optional. Your core is what holds you in and makes you strong. I use The Bean and run the workout on my laptop while I follow along. Don't laugh. That extra cushioning that The Bean gives me is just enough to keep me from hurting my spine.

30 minutes of cardio. There. I said it. Cardio. Yuck. I hate cardio. So I turn on some tunes and get on my hurricycle. Ever see one of those exercycles with the big fan on the front and the handles that alternate going up and back? That's my cardio demon machine. I do it. So should you.

30 minutes of yoga. The slow, stretching kind, not the power yoga that seems to be so popular. Those people are crazy. Hatha yoga... just stretch every part of the body that you worked. Start with the toes and work your way up. Ladies, we spend money on pedicures. Work the feet! Stretch them out! They're so integral to your life. I know what it was like not to be able to walk for 6 months. Treat your feet special.

Now... for those of you who are still following me...

Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays... Okay, most Saturdays...

Cardio and yoga. Sometimes I will use my Saturday for outside work in the yard. That's okay, as long as you're not pulling a couple of weeds and then looking for someone to mercifully save you from the rest. DO IT! I did. This weekend, we put down mulch and I weeded 2 flower beds. Then I transplanted a lot of plants in one of those beds now that it was nice and clean. I spent at least 3 hours out there and I was still at it long after the rest of my house inhabitants gave up.

Think all of this is tough and I'm just a glutton for punishment? Oh hell yeah, it is... and I'm not. When I was younger, I got up two hours earlier just so I could get in a workout before work. If I don't do it in the morning, I won't do it. So I make this an appointment with myself now. It's an appointment I won't break because I'm worth it. I'm worth all the sweat it takes to get my health back. Aren't you? Did you know that 80% of women over the age of 70 can't lift a bag of groceries? I don't want to be one of those. So who's with me? Take your vitamins, and let's get started.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

Chasing the Iron Bunny

For those of you who are following my health and weight loss journey, I have encouraging news. First of all, I was completely cleared by my pulmonologist when my CT scan came up clear. He saw and heard no trace of the infection that has plagued me for so long. That said, I went on a fitness program that I designed from my training knowledge of days gone by.

I first started this journey on October 5 of last year. I had plugged all my numbers in (as ugly as they were) and then had a setback when I was told that my father had passed a couple of weeks later. So now that the setback is over, and after getting off the meds for the lung disease, I am back on track. So let me post what I've done so far.


Starting scale weight was 231 (Ugh) and starting bodyfat % was 44.75%. Lean weight was 127.32 and bodyfat was 103.68.

Today... scale weight was 219 (still ugh) with bodyfat % of 33.93%. Lean weight is 144.69 and bodyfat is 74.31.

The tale of the tape is also encouraging. Waist measurement is down 2 inches since starting last year, with most of that loss coming in the last 11 days since adding intense cardio and core workouts in with weight training. Waist to hip ratio is still not where it needs to be, so there is a lot more work to be done.

Things I've noticed: My energy is coming back. I sleep better most nights. I can breathe better. I can focus my mind better. I get more done around the house and in my life. I can walk better. I still feel like I'm dragging my left leg some days (the leg that had the clot in it), but I push through it and then rest it. I no longer JUST push through. I know that rest is an integral part of my well-being and don't intend to be without it ever again.

Changes I've made:

1. Detoxifying my environment. It's ongoing and it's hard. But I feel it is something worth doing. You have no idea how many foods are packaged using plastics, which are dreadful for the body and the environment.

2. Challenging everything that goes into my mouth. That is also difficult, especially when others in the household are having everything from tortilla chips and cheese dip to ice cream. It's okay. You keep eating that. I'm not.

3. Preparing foods from scratch. I do that a lot more now. I've stopped eating out for the most part, making that the exception instead of the rule.

4. I get active every day. I feel like I'm slacking off when I'm not active. I used to be able to climb a rope to the top of a gymnasium and back down. I used to be on the gymnastics team. I may not be able to do those things again, but I'm gonna get close. REAL close.

5. I take much better care of my grooming now. Sounds silly to most of you, but when you're not feeling well, it reflects in your grooming and when your grooming is bad, you feel worse. It's a vicious cycle and I've stopped it.

6. I take pictures of myself much more often. I want to see this journey in pictures. My body has a story to tell.

7. I don't let anything keep me from my workouts now... not even procrastinating like I'm doing right this minute. Don't worry... I'll be in the gym within the next half hour or so and spend 2 hours workin' it.

8. I open up to other people a little more. I'm still very introspective, but am trying to change that.

I know there are more, but for the sake of the workout I'm trying to ignore, I'll leave them for another time. I've got my music picked out for the gym today, and I've got to get out there. It's not gonna happen by itself.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

My Own Marley

I just finished watching Marley and Me, and I ended up in tears. Anyone who doesn't cry at the end of that movie just doesn't have a heart. And it brought up some memories of my own Marley... a black and tan coonhound named Rebel.

Rebel was a beautiful dog. And kind natured. He was the best. He came into our lives when Jason was just about 4 years old and Rhys was a baby. We had just moved into our house, and I immediately said that no house is a home without a dog. We went looking for one.

I saw an ad in the paper for coonhound puppies, and took the long trek out to some God-forsaken place in the country, which I now know to be Shelby Forest. I had really wanted a bluetick, but these were black and tan, with a touch of bluetick. There were several puppies running around in the open on the property, but I took notice of the one off to the side all by himself. I went over to him, and saw the sad look in his eyes. It was clear that his brothers had been taken long ago, and he was the only boy left. I rubbed his head and asked him if he wanted to come home with me. He licked my hand, and stole my heart.

I put him in the cat carrier, which was the only restraint I had at the time, so he could take the long journey home. Once he got out, he was never small enough to get back in. He grew by leaps and bounds, and when all was said and done, he was a whopping 82 pounds of sleek, shiny black and tan. From the outside of the house, he looked like a pitbull to anyone approaching. He was menacing to intruders, but had a heart of gold.

Rebel used to love his weekly outings at the park. They have open leash day on Saturdays and we would put him in the back of the truck, where he would proudly howl his greeting to the people at the park, who would laugh and point at the beautiful black beauty who was so eager to announce his arrival. Once at the park, he was King. King of the Park. He took control of the track and field. He wouldn't venture into the water though. Coonhounds, by nature, do not go near the water, where a raccoon would drag them to drown them. True to form, he wouldn't go there. But oh, how he loved to run and have fun with the other dogs.

Once home, Rebel would eat, drink and lie down on the kitchen floor to rest. That floor must have been nice and cool compared to the summer heat, but I have a very small kitchen, and he took up the whole floor! I tripped over him more than once on many occasions.

Rebel began to have some health problems in his later years. Some cysts grew on him, and we took them off to make him comfortable. His beautiful coat scarred, we got the news that he had cancer. My poor, beautiful baby... and nothing could be done to help him except to keep him comfortable. And I tried. Really I did. He got weaker and weaker, but still he was happy.

The day after Valentine's Day, February 15, I came home to find Rebel out in the cold, wet weather, and called to him. He tried to get up, but sank back down. I ran over to him and called him again. His eyes told me the story. He had had enough. I called the vet immediately to ask if he would perform a euthanasia in a half hour. He agreed, and we took Rebel to the vet for the last time. He was in the back of the truck, where he loved to be, covered with a blanket to keep the rain off him.

On the table, the vet stroked him and said, "this was a good dog". I said "The Best" and gave him the go-ahead to put him down. I petted him and talked to him softly as the vet struggled to find a good vein. They had all collapsed. He slipped quietly away. My life hasn't been the same since.

Godspeed my beautiful, loyal friend. Here's to you. Thank you for all the love you gave me. Save me a spot. I love you.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

You Gotta Learn to Laugh

After a relatively sleepless night, in which my mind went restlessly over who I should torture in Mafia Wars and how to strettttttch those last few energy points, I was awakened by that human torture device, the alarm clock, set to 4:30am so my husband could make his daily jaunt into corporate America. Today is going to be my feel-good day... the day in which I find affordable health care for less money that we have been paying for the last 20 years, the day when I make Adwords work for our businesses, and the day that I finalize some orders so I can get paid next week. With the economy in such a downturn and my family feeling the pinch, I have reached out to some friends for some laughter and comraderie, and they have responded in droves.

One good friend sent me this:

Things to do when you're bored at Wal-Mart

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 2. Put M&M's on layaway. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. 4. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10." 5. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 6.Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms. 7. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 8. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 9. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 10. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you floss your teeth. 11. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 12. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 13. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 14. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest rooms. 15. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible." 16. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 17. Sit on a chair and read a book for hours. 18. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse, say things like "pick me! pick me!!" 19. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 20. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. And last, but not least... 21. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud... "Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"

I just HAD to laugh at the last one. There have been times that I really had to wonder what was going on in those dressing rooms from some of the sounds and smells coming out of them.

Seriously though, today I am going to find a way to make the businesses pay off like they've never paid before. That's going to take a lot of research, and a lot of brainpower that I don't possess after a sleepless night. It's at times like these that I wish I still smoked. Caffeine and nicotine... the two major food groups. Since I don't do that anymore, I have to find another way to awaken my sleepy brain and get something productive done. The boys will start back to class at the end of next week, so I will reclaim all that time as my own and possibly (finally) be able to get some things done around the house. There is still a buttload of wallpaper to strip, as well as 10 coats of paint to come off the woodwork in the dining room, and generally bringing this house into a more modern era than "Early 20th Century Rent House". It's an exaggeration, but there's a lot that needs work. I'm sure a renewed vigor will hit me once the guys are back in class and not hanging around the house all day every day.

So what's happening next... what's on the horizon... ? I don't know. But whatever it is, I'm going to be looking at it with a child's wonder because if I've learned anything from all the problems this country is experiencing, it's that "You gotta learn to laugh. It's the path to true love." (John Travolta as "Michael")

Music playing... coffee in hand... it's time to get started.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

The Fourth of July, Simple Pleasures, and The Homemade Marble Game

Happy Fourth of July, everyone!

Today, I reflect on my Independence Day memories as I sit enjoying the simple pleasures with my family.

My first family had a swimming pool in the backyard when I was young. We spent many happy hours in the pool, as did our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and neighbors. I wanted to give our boys the same experience, and we have had above-ground pools in the past, but were never able to take care of it properly due to massive amounts of leaves that fell from our backyard trees. That changed a few years ago when a dureche (straight line tornado) took one of our trees down and split the other in half. The leaves diminished greatly, and gave us a big open space with lots of sun AND shade to enjoy.

It gets hot in Memphis. Hot. Not just hot... the fires of hell hot. I used to like summer until I moved down here. But I have been miserable in the 100+ degree Memphis heat for years. Our boys have been wanting us to put a swimming pool in the nice open space in the backyard. However, we can't afford one right now, as I have been out of work for such a long time. So I began to look for a way for us to cool off this summer without breaking the bank, so to speak. I would have been satisfied with a wading pool to cool our feet off. But the heat has risen in Memphis, and is due to go on much longer than we would like. I remembered having fun in the sprinkler when I was very young in the days before our backyard pool, and wondered if there was a way of doing something similar, only on a "grown-up" basis. I couldn't see the four of us frolicking in the sprinkler, but had an idea which we put into action yesterday, and it turned out to be one of the best ideas I've ever had.

We constructed an outdoor shower from a short hose, a watering arm and some brackets. I didn't want to have to change the hose out when I water the outdoor plants, so we installed a brass pipe splitter (for want of a better term) for the spigot. This wonderful invention allows me to hook up more than one hose and direct the water to whichever one we want to use at the time. So we hooked up a 6 foot hose and attached a watering arm to it. We secured it to the house using some plant hangers, and put down some paving stones to give us a firm place to stand and to help drain the water away as well. Eureka! It works like a charm! When I got under the water yesterday, I had been working in the yard, trying to get some tomato seeds planted and was as hot and dirty as I had ever been. When the cold water hit me, all I could say was "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". I think the guys thought I had lost my mind, but honestly, it was the closest thing to heaven I had felt in a really long time. The whole project cost very little, and the payoff was huge. This little invention of ours is going to save us this summer. I'm sure that my parents and grandparents would be proud of my innovation.

So today I enjoyed the outdoor shower once again, as Steve fired up the smoker and put the pork butt on for a long day of smoking. We don't often have days of pure leisure, so this day was a real treat. We stood under the shower, then sat in the sun with our feet soaking in the wading pool, watching the dogs circling us, wondering why we seemed so peaceful and happy. At one point, we took the babies (Gizmo and Gidget) and let them cool off as well. They weren't as pleased with the water as we were, so we let them dry off and go in the house. Rhys put Rocky in the pool and she liked it so much, she sat down. Then she laid down and stuck her head under the water to cool off. What a funny sweetie she is. She jumped out and went to chase something. We sat in the sun for a while, just relaxing. Sitting in the sun was wonderful. I don't often have a chance to do that, but I have a feeling we will be relaxing much more often now that we have a way to cool off.

I guess we're not going to do any fireworks tonight. We have a few morning glories and maybe some bottle rockets. Maybe we'll still do some. Tucker would be pleased. That silly dog loves to chase after them and barks his fool head off. He and Rocky get into trouble sometimes with chasing things. Yesterday, they chased some bees, which chased them back, and we ended up having to shuttle them all in the house while we killed the suckers. But I digress. It's illegal to shoot off fireworks in the city limits in Memphis. Not illegal to buy them. You just go to the next county to get them. But who's going to arrest you for it? Certainly not the police, when the one down the block is shooting them off as well. I remember a time when fireworks weren't illegal and were very common on the Fourth of July. When we lived on Oglesby in Calumet City, I remember going out in the front yard with my Dad, and watching him with firecrackers and cherry bombs. The most we kids could do was to play with sparklers. But the image of the entire street being lit up by fireworks thrown by our neighbors stays with me. Those were good times. Simple, but so good. Our grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins would all come over and we'd "barbecue" outside, with coolers of drinks in the garage, and lawn chairs everywhere. Sometimes there was a badminton game going on in the field behind the garage, where my father had mowed down the field and "claimed" a piece of it for us as long as there wasn't a house behind ours. Many many times, there were some injuries to my father's ankle, since playing a game during our gatherings was serious business and we went all out.

After everyone had eaten all they possibly could, the party would move from the backyard to the inside of the house, where the adults would play cards or the "marble game" that my father had constructed out of a piece of wood and some marbles. He had drilled holes in the wood, and the holes were a little smaller than large marbles, which we called "pierzies". We would roll the dice, and move our marbles around the board, to end up in the "home" position. The person whose marbles were all at "home" first won the game. It wasn't until I grew to adulthood that I realized that our "marble game" was actually Parcheesi in disguise, and my father had made that game for us to play because we couldn't afford to buy the actual game at Bargain Town (which became Toys R Us). He was innovative, and I'm glad I am able to appreciate that quality now. I loved playing the marble game, as did everyone else who played it. I wish I knew what happened to that old piece of wood. And as I played Parcheesi with my family today, I remembered playing the marble game, and hoped that my boys would love it as much as I still do. I wonder if I can do the same with a piece of plywood... and if I get some marbles...

The pork roast was wonderful. So was the rest of today. And so were the memories. It was nice to be able to remember them now with sweetness. Many other memories surfaced as well, which I will write about in another blog. But for now... I have grapes to harvest. Peace to all of you. Please remember those who died so we might live with freedom.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

For All True Americans... Pass It On

This is from Glenn Beck's site:

GLENN: I got a letter from a woman in Arizona. She writes an open letter to our nation's leadership: I'm a home grown American citizen, 53, registered Democrat all my life. Before the last presidential election I registered as a Republican because I no longer felt the Democratic Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. Now I no longer feel the Republican Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. The fact is I no longer feel any political party or representative in Washington represents my views or works to pursue the issues important to me. There must be someone. Please tell me who you are. Please stand up and tell me that you are there and that you're willing to fight for our Constitution as it was written. Please stand up now. You might ask yourself what my views and issues are that I would horribly feel so disenfranchised by both major political parties. What kind of nut job am I? Will you please tell me?

Well, these are briefly my views and issues for which I seek representation:

One, illegal immigration. I want you to stop coddling illegal immigrants and secure our borders. Close the underground tunnels. Stop the violence and the trafficking in drugs and people. No amnesty, not again. Been there, done that, no resolution. P.S., I'm not a racist. This isn't to be confused with legal immigration.

Glenn Beck's Common Sense Now available in book stores nationwide...

Two, the TARP bill, I want it repealed and I want no further funding supplied to it. We told you no, but you did it anyway. I want the remaining unfunded 95% repealed. Freeze, repeal.

Three: Czars, I want the circumvention of our checks and balances stopped immediately. Fire the czars. No more czars. Government officials answer to the process, not to the president. Stop trampling on our Constitution and honor it.

Four, cap and trade. The debate on global warming is not over. There is more to say.

Five, universal healthcare. I will not be rushed into another expensive decision. Don't you dare try to pass this in the middle of the night and then go on break. Slow down!

Six, growing government control. I want states rights and sovereignty fully restored. I want less government in my life, not more. Shrink it down. Mind your own business. You have enough to take care of with your real obligations. Why don't you start there.

Seven, ACORN. I do not want ACORN and its affiliates in charge of our 2010 census. I want them investigated. I also do not want mandatory escrow fees contributed to them every time on every real estate deal that closes. Stop the funding to ACORN and its affiliates pending impartial audits and investigations. I do not trust them with taking the census over with our taxpayer money. I don't trust them with our taxpayer money. Face up to the allegations against them and get it resolved before taxpayers get any more involved with them. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, hello. Stop protecting your political buddies. You work for us, the people. Investigate.

Eight, redistribution of wealth. No, no, no. I work for my money. It is mine. I have always worked for people with more money than I have because they gave me jobs. That is the only redistribution of wealth that I will support. I never got a job from a poor person. Why do you want me to hate my employers? Why ‑‑ what do you have against shareholders making a profit?

Nine, charitable contributions. Although I never got a job from a poor person, I have helped many in need. Charity belongs in our local communities, where we know our needs best and can use our local talent and our local resources. Butt out, please. We want to do it ourselves.

Ten, corporate bailouts. Knock it off. Sink or swim like the rest of us. If there are hard times ahead, we'll be better off just getting into it and letting the strong survive. Quick and painful. Have you ever ripped off a Band‑Aid? We will pull together. Great things happen in America under great hardship. Give us the chance to innovate. We cannot disappoint you more than you have disappointed us.

Eleven, transparency and accountability. How about it? No, really, how about it? Let's have it. Let's say we give the buzzwords a rest and have some straight honest talk. Please try ‑‑ please stop manipulating and trying to appease me with clever wording. I am not the idiot you obviously take me for. Stop sneaking around and meeting in back rooms making deals with your friends. It will only be a prelude to your criminal investigation. Stop hiding things from me.

Twelve, unprecedented quick spending. Stop it now.

Take a breath. Listen to the people. Let's just slow down and get some input from some nonpoliticians on the subject. Stop making everything an emergency. Stop speed reading our bills into law. I am not an activist. I am not a community organizer. Nor am I a terrorist, a militant or a violent person. I am a parent and a grandparent. I work. I'm busy. I'm busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and land of the brave.

I entrusted you with upholding the Constitution. I believed in the checks and balances to keep from getting far off course. What happened? You are very far off course. Do you really think I find humor in the hiring of a speed reader to unintelligently ramble all through a bill that you signed into law without knowing what it contained? I do not. It is a mockery of the responsibility I have entrusted to you. It is a slap in the face. I am not laughing at your arrogance. Why is it that I feel as if you would not trust me to make a single decision about my own life and how I would live it but you should expect that I should trust you with the debt that you have laid on all of us and our children. We did not want the TARP bill. We said no. We would repeal it if we could. I am sure that we still cannot. There is such urgency and recklessness in all of the recent spending.

From my perspective, it seems that all of you have gone insane. I also know that I am far from alone in these feelings. Do you honestly feel that your current pursuits have merit to patriotic Americans? We want it to stop. We want to put the brakes on everything that is being rushed by us and forced upon us. We want our voice back. You have forced us to put our lives on hold to straighten out the mess that you are making. We will have to give up our vacations, our time spent with our children, any relaxation time we may have had and money we cannot afford to spend on you to bring our concerns to Washington. Our president often knows all the right buzzword is unsustainable. Well, no kidding. How many tens of thousands of dollars did the focus group cost to come up with that word? We don't want your overpriced words. Stop treating us like we're morons.

We want all of you to stop focusing on your reelection and do the job we want done, not the job you want done or the job your party wants done. You work for us and at this rate I guarantee you not for long because we are coming. We will be heard and we will be represented. You think we're so busy with our lives that we will never come for you? We are the formerly silent majority, all of us who quietly work , pay taxes, obey the law, vote, save money, keep our noses to the grindstone and we are now looking up at you. You have awakened us, the patriotic spirit so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping too long. You have pushed us too far. Our numbers are great. They may surprise you. For every one of us who will be there, there will be hundreds more that could not come. Unlike you, we have their trust. We will represent them honestly, rest assured. They will be at the polls on voting day to usher you out of office. We have cancelled vacations. We will use our last few dollars saved. We will find the representation among us and a grassroots campaign will flourish. We didn't ask for this fight. But the gloves are coming off. We do not come in violence, but we are angry. You will represent us or you will be replaced with someone who will. There are candidates among us when hewill rise like a Phoenix from the ashes that you have made of our constitution.

Democrat, Republican, independent, libertarian. Understand this. We don't care. Political parties are meaningless to us. Patriotic Americans are willing to do right by us and our Constitution and that is all that matters to us now. We are going to fire all of you who abuse power and seek more. It is not your power. It is ours and we want it back. We entrusted you with it and you abused it. You are dishonorable. You are dishonest. As Americans we are ashamed of you. You have brought shame to us. If you are not representing the wants and needs of your constituency loudly and consistently, in spite of the objections of your party, you will be fired. Did you hear? We no longer care about your political parties. You need to be loyal to us, not to them. Because we will get you fired and they will not save you. If you do or can represent me, my issues, my views, please stand up. Make your identity known. You need to make some noise about it. Speak up. I need to know who you are. If you do not speak up, you will be herded out with the rest of the sheep and we will replace the whole damn congress if need be one by one. We are coming. Are we coming for you? Who do you represent? What do you represent? Listen. Because we are coming. We the people are coming.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

For Those of You Who Came In Without a Program.. The Last Two Weeks in Digest Form.

For those of you who are following my blogs, so much has happened in the last few weeks, I thought I'd better put this in digest form so I can pick up and move on.

Uncle Jerry and Aunt Pat's visit

They came in on their way to Texas, stopping to see us on the 31st of May. What a delight to see them! We had a few beers, talked a lot, sat in the sun and crisped... and then it was time for dinner. I had one remaining ring of kielbasa from Misch's in Calumet City, and some pierogi in the freezer. I couldn't think of a better opportunity to serve it than to bring it out when they told us they were coming to visit. When I went in to check on dinner, I found the sausage was ready and all I had to do was to lightly fry the pierogi in butter. I did that while the guys got the table ready. I called everyone to the table and brought out the platter of pierogi. I heard an audible "Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" come from Uncle Jerry, and I swear his eyes glazed over. He mentioned how "we" never got pierogi except at Christmas, and I had an idea. I went to the kitchen, where I keep the leftover aplatek from Christmas. I told them that since no one ever comes to visit us, and they had made it Christmas for me by coming, I would like for them to break the aplatek and pass it around. I think they were genuinely touched by the gesture, and Uncle Jerry said, "Well we can't say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, so let's say to good health, good fortune and a safe trip." I couldn't have said it better.

Park Lane Jewelry

During the next week, I met up with Charlette, who is now my director in Park Lane. I decided to try selling Park Lane, since it is so new to the Memphis area and I have been having such a hard time finding a job. I love the jewelry and it's very reasonably priced. I was never much of a jewelry person before because I had this view of having "real" jewelry instead of costume jewelry... "real" diamonds vs. cubic zirconias, not using swarovski crystals but "real" ones. The hell with that! I wasn't getting anything new by sticking to that philosophy. I have a few pieces of "good" jewelry, but I will probably put them in the lockbox, since I love the new stuff and don't want the old stuff to get lost or damaged.

I am having my kickoff party this Saturday and am hoping for a good turnout. At the very least, this venture is showing me who I can count on, and who I can't, and that has proven interesting. The people that I have never been able to count on are being excluded from my life permanently. It's time to get rid of all the old energy and replace it with new. Old energy just drags me down.

The Blue Monkey Society

Speaking of new energy... the following weekend, Steve and I went to the Blue Monkey to meet up with some friends of his from high school. This gathering usually happens on the first Sunday of the month at 5pm. There was a quite a turnout! There were about 15-20 people there, including one of their old English teachers. Amazing. People came in from Little Rock and Nashville for this. There were numerous conversations flowing around that big group, and I'm slowly getting to know them through Facebook. What a good group! I didn't get any bad vibes from any of them, and felt very welcome. They all wanted pictures at the end, and I stuck to my camera-shy ways and stayed mostly out of them. Maybe next time I'll jump in.

Tucker

Then there's our 72 pound bundle of dynamite who has been suffering with a cyst hanging off his body for about the past year. He started chewing at it and it got to the point where we had to take him in to get the cyst removed along with all the hanging skin. He came through the surgery fine and is strong as an ox. He's had a cone around his head for the better part of a week, and I had to finally take it off today because he's destroying everything in his path, going along as if the cone weren't there. I can only hope he doesn't chew his stitches open. Oh, the word on the cyst (with tumor) is that it was benign. Looks like he will be around for a long time to come and I'm glad. The house was really empty without him in it.

Chasin' It

With these things all coming at me at full throttle, I thought it was time to kick up my exercise (cardio) a notch, and have done that in the last week. My doctor told me I could get off the cholesterol meds if I added cardio (LOTS of it) to my program and watched my nutrition. I usually ride my exercycle to some music, and yesterday it finally kicked... I reached the endorphin release. Ahhhhhhhh... Been chasin' that booger for a while now. And now that I've hit it, I want to hit it again. I didn't quite get there today, but will go out in the gym and hit the weights in about an hour. Let's see if that gets it. I'm excited, because my energy is getting better and I'm getting stronger. I want to go for a walk later. Maybe I can talk Steve into it as well. I know, it's 95 in the shade today. So maybe we can walk in the shade.

Back At It

I've got to get back to painting now. I'm making some improvements in the house and have to put a second coat on my bedroom door. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

Smoke On The Water, True Friendship And An Angel To The Rescue

Wow... what a day/night we had on the riverfront! My hubby and I were invited to the Memphis in May BBQ Fest and decided we would take a chance on going. Generally, when you go to one of these things, you have to know someone in order to eat at any of the booths. There are vendors available, who will be happy to sell you their wares, but the fun is in visiting people you know. There is a LOT of walking, which is extremely difficult for me. I was soon to find out exactly HOW difficult it would become.

Before we left for the BBQ, I had my doubts as to whether I could make it, but I wanted to do this for my hubby. We had received an invite from some fraternity brothers of his, and there were friends that we hadn't seen in 30 years. Okay, 30 years for him. Probably 25 for me. Anyway, when we first got there, we sought out the booth that his brothers were in. They weren't there at the moment, so my dear hubby decided he wanted to walk around a bit. That was bad news for me. I was already having trouble walking. But I went with him, trying to keep up, and having to stop every couple of booths to let my hip joint rest. We caught up with the Parrotheads, who we had met years ago when our friends Pat and Tim still lived in Memphis. A quick story about the Parrotheads... we also ran into them in Chicago! At the Billy Goat Tavern! It was shear luck that we ended up there that night. What a group! They were wonderful and we resolved to be lifelong friends.

So back to the BBQ... We stopped at the AT&T booth which, thankfully, was air-conditioned and had internet access set up! I was shocked. We quickly went in and checked our Facebooks. Ha ha! Can't get away from that, it seems. It was a good thing though, because I saw that some other friends of ours were there as well, and we made a silent note to visit them before we left. We found some funnelcake vendors, which is one of my favorite greasy treats. We quickly found shade and gobbled up the sugary mess. I was getting really hot and tired, and I didn't want to take any chances, so I asked if we could please stop at the First Aid station. I'm so glad we did! We met two really nice nurses who took my blood pressure (normal), gave me some ibuprofen and an impromptu ice pack made from a rubber glove. As we sat and talked, I made a mental note of the proximity of the exit gate and where the EMT's were located. I was on dangerous ground, and I knew it.

We finally went to the Earthquake BBQ booth, sat down and got some water. We sat for a really long time, talking to Phillip, who was cooking the butt. After numerous references to "do I want some of his butt", Steve and I decided to see how good it was. I was totally shocked at how moist and flavorful the meat was. Phillip kept asking me what I thought it needed, and although I'm not a connoisseur of pork barbecue, I couldn't help but think it needed more hickory. Phillip asked me "You could taste the hickory?" Yes, I could, but it needed more. I've never... EVER tasted such good pork. And the conversation flowed... he told us all about Huntsville, where he lives and works, and about how the judging is done at the fest. We were completely enthralled at how it all worked, and how much preparation and planning went into not only having a booth, but the entire festival. I regret that we had to leave suddenly, when a call from home made me realize that we had some medical matters to tend to.

As I went to find Steve (who had conveniently disappeared from view), I ran smack into his old classmate, Greg, who welcomed me with the biggest hug I had ever had. Tears filled my eyes as I realized that this was the kind of welcome I had hoped for when I first came to Memphis. Greg and I talked for a while, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. When we found Steve, the guys talked for a while longer, and I knew I had to get home or die. The pain I was feeling was getting intense. Reluctantly parting, we all agreed to get together next Tuesday at Cafe Ole' and headed for the exit. What came next was the biggest surprise of the evening.

I knew I was in trouble trying to head up the hill. It can be brutal if you have any kind of leg trouble. And boy, was I having it. We asked an EMT if she could give me a ride in the cart, just to the top of the hill. She said no. We ventured a little farther and spied a woman getting into a cart just ahead. I begged Steve to ask her if I could ride. By then I was starting to cry. She didn't even hesitate when she said "get in". She told me to sit in the front and kept asking me if I was all right. She wanted to take us directly to our car, but there was some trouble at the south gate, with a tach squad and multiple grey cruisers blocking the streets. She was on the horn immediately to find out what was going on, and apologized to us for holding us up. Good heavens! She wasn't holding US up... she was helping us! I made a note to look at her badge and found her name... Diane Hampton. She dropped us off at a gas station not far from our car and apologized for not bringing us all the way. I was crying and impulsively hugged her... thanking her and telling her she had earned her way into heaven tonight. She smiled and Steve gave her his card, letting her know who we were. And then we found out exactly what her position was... The Executive Vice President of Memphis in May! I was FLOORED!!! I couldn't believe this person of SO much importance was helping ME! We thanked her again, and she went to handle the emergency at the south gate. What an angel. I'm going to write a letter to let the whole city know what a wonderful person she is.

We finally got to our car, after having to stop quite a few times to soothe the pain in my legs. Steve had been begging me to stay at the gas station, but I insisted on going to the car myself... slowly... slowly... and I made it! All the way home, Steve and I talked about his friends, our lives and how much I have needed the generosity that was shown to me that night. I cried almost all the way home, realizing how much goodness and friendship I had missed in my life. This is just the start of making it better.

Oh, the pain? I'm going to try and get in to see my doctor on Monday. The left leg feels like it did when I had the clots in it. I may have to go back on coumadin, but it's better than having another embolism. Wish me luck and good health!

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

So How's The Exercise Program Going?

I just peeked in here and realized I had not written in a couple of weeks. I guess the pull of daily life got a little stronger lately.

I have had a lot of things hit me lately, and am trying to figure out how I used to do this dance of cleaning house, running all the errands, doing laundry, ironing, mending, cooking, shopping, raising two children AND holding down a full-time job. As I get older (and weaker), I realize it's no mean feat! How in the WORLD did I do all that? By myself? Are you kidding me??? Nowadays, the boys help me out with a lot of it, but dayum... I didn't realize there was SO much to do. I have an upcoming visit from my aunt and uncle at the end of this month, and now the heat is on! I know they don't care about how things are in my house, but *I* care. I'd like to have the hallway finished by the time they get here, and have some of the clutter organized. I have been in the "Let's get rid of all this clutter" mode, but there is so much of it, especially since I got sick 6 years ago. My health has gone up and down since then, and it's become painfully evident that I can't do everything I used to be able to do, and that things have gone to pot.

But I digress...

We have been working on stripping the paint off the woodwork in the hallway so we can redecorate. We have lived in this house for the past 20 years, and have never redecorated. With raising the family and working, there was just never time or energy to do it. So I'm doing it all a little at a time with the guys' help. Last weekend we started stripping the paint in the hallway. This weekend (if they ever wake up... since it's raining, they're all still in bed) I want to finish that chore. Then we can sand... then prime... then paint. We did the study already (did that when I came home from Chicago in November). In the meantime, Rocky has decided to start tearing up the blinds in the dining room, so I will have to replace some of the slats today, along with everything else I have to do. Bless Steve... he works so hard during the week and only has the weekends to rest, and I make him either go on a bike ride or help out with these extra chores. I try not to overtax him, but he does everything at 200 miles per hour, so it's hard to make him slow down. Case in point... when we (and by "we" I mean Steve and I) started on the hallway last weekend, I wanted to just take it slowly and do a little at a time. He started putting stripper on all the doorways, not realizing how much work was involved in the scraping and sanding. So we pushed really hard to get it done, and all the refuse cleaned up before the dogs or cats could eat it. And they would have. Needless to say, it didn't all get done, and the hallway looks like it has cancer. Today, I'm going at it slower, whether he likes it or not. There's something to be said about working with your hands at a slow rate, focusing on quality rather than quantity.

I also have to work on the aquarium. It sprung a leak in the last few weeks, and I have to figure out where the leak is, patch it up and get a new glass top for it. Ugh... when do I have time for work? Oh wait... this blog was supposed to be about my workouts. That's going all right, I guess. With everything else coming at me, who can tell? I get up in the morning, have two cups of coffee, have some oatmeal, and then MAKE myself do my weight training. Or my yoga, if it's one of those days when I wake up in pain. Weight training is getting easier though. Okay, not easier. I'm sweating up a storm while doing it. I added a couple of extra exercises yesterday, so that's a good thing. But I'm still weaker than a newborn kitten. Okay, so maybe not THAT weak. But I'm a whole lot weaker than I used to be, when I used to go at this with guns blazing. I'm becoming aware that maybe I'm not as young as I used to be. But I'm trying. Watching The Biggest Loser this week put my mind right again, so my nutrition is back where it needs to be. Yeah, yeah, I know... The Biggest Loser is an unsafe program and not realistic for anyone who doesn't live on a ranch, all expenses paid, with nothing to do but eat and workout 8 hours a day. It's not that. I can identify with the pain the contestants have been through that got them in their present state of dis-ease. That helped me to get my focus back.

So how much weight have I lost? Practically none, if that's what my gauge is. But it's not. I'm all about gaining strength so I can get through the last third of my life without having to have someone help me lift a bag of groceries. And I want to be able to tend my garden out in the country. Yes, you heard it here first. We are moving to the country in the next two years. I have picked out a community that's about 30 miles east of here, and I love it out there. No water really, but lots and lots of fresh air. My doctor wants me to have lots of it. And I don't think civilization will catch up for a while. It's far enough that I will have to travel for about 20 minutes before I find a grocery store. We are looking for about 10 acres. That will give me enough space to have a vegetable garden, plant fruit trees and bushes, and landscape a flower garden with a path and bench (I've always wanted to do that). And most of all, I can BREATHE!!! Those of you who don't have trouble breathing have no idea how much cleaner the air is in the country. Once I get out there, I don't want to come back in the city for ANYthing. I'm afraid I might miss a bunny or squirrel.

Anyway... the crew is stirring, so I guess I'd better make breakfast. Oatmeal with raisins. Yeah, I know... but it's healthy.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

DOMS or "Why I Hate Exercise"

DOMS - Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness

How could I have been so dumb? I knew fully well that my workouts were going to result in a sudden onset of DOMS. So how is it that I ignored that so completely when I started working out again this week? Of COURSE I was going to be in pain!

So after 5 weeks of the flu (and still suffering the after-effects of it), I set out on Monday to do a short strength-training workout. And instead of taking it EASY, like I knew I should, I did full stability ball crunches, floor to floor. My transverse abdominus (abs down the front of the body) have been screaming ever since.

Okay, okay. So maybe that wasn't the smartest thing to do. But I was prepared to be sore. I just wasn't prepared for the pain that I experienced when my husband and I went for a walk around the block. I thought, "It's a beautiful day, and Steve is getting off work early after a tough week. We should go for a walk." How humiliating it was when the pain in my hip flexors was so great, I had to stop quite a few times to rest. Thank God we didn't go to the park or hit the Greenway on our bikes. I'd never have made it.

And here's something else... it wasn't my lungs that held me up this time. I suppose I should be grateful for that. So of course, I had to come home and look up the musculature involved in what's commonly called the "hip flexors". I have a kiniesiology site I'm fond of: www.exrx.net That's the site I go to whenever I want to know something about musculature or exercise in terms I can understand. I found the numerous muscles that comprise the hip flexors and I understand that this pain goes deep into those muscles. What I don't know just yet is what I need to do about it. Yoga tomorrow? More walking? Complete rest? Ibuprofen? I have refrained from taking anything for the pain if I can help it.

Something further... the pain in my arm is back, which usually tells me that there is something malfunctioning in my spine again. *sigh* I guess tomorrow is going to include a long, painful session of yoga. I'm going to have to stretch until my spine loosens up. I don't know what's worse... knowing that I have this ahead of me tomorrow, or knowing that if I don't do it, there will be an even greater price to pay the next day.

Maybe I ought to just get a head start on it tonight.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

The Tough Road Back

Anyone who has been following my blogs here or in other places, knows that I have been down with the flu for about 5 weeks. It has really taken a toll. I'm hocking up things that shouldn't be mentioned, and I would not be the least bit surprised if I saw a lung in the sink the next time I cough. However, I feel like I have finally taken the turn for the better and am taking the long, tough road back to health.

I started this road again today, with a short, half-hour strength workout that would have made me shake my head and say "wimp" earlier in my life. I had to stop several times to make sure I would get each rep in. Mind you, this is a NOTHING workout. But afterward, I felt like I was going to puke my guts out. Those 2 sets of 15 crunches on the stability ball just about did me in. I watched Gidget sleeping right next to me as I grunted and groaned. The sweat was so intense that I had to wipe it off several times, and wonder if maybe, just maybe, I was taking it a little too fast. TOO FAST??? Geez. This is not the "me" of several months ago, when I was adding to my workout, and it was not the "me" of several years ago, when I spent at least an hour daily hitting the iron. But I had to start somewhere, right?

And I hate cardio. God, how I hate it. I'm not going to do any until my strength gets a little better. My heart was already pumping like I was running a marathon. And now I'm tired. You know the feeling after you've pumped iron for a while. You want to collapse. At least I do. I'm gonna love tomorrow. Yoga. Ahhhhhhhh... stretching to beautiful, calming music.

So here I start the tough road back. I know it's not going to be easy. But I've got to try. Sistah, you there with me?

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

Easter Traditions

Today is Easter Sunday, and with the world celebrating the traditional Christian belief that Jesus rose from the dead, I had time to reflect on the Easters past and thought I would share a few of them here.

Last night while I was making the makowiec (poppy seed cake) for my family to share, I remember the time when my grandmother Sophie taught my mother to make the very same cake with a prune or apricot filling. Sophie was right-handed, and my mother was left-handed, so it was a comical learning experience for both of them. Sophie was mixing the dough with her right hand, and my mother was mixing with her left, both on the same side of the table. Flour was flying everywhere, and before the task was done, both were covered with flour and laughing as I had never seen them laugh before or since. The resulting cakes were wonderful, and knowing they had been done in tandem made them all the more delicious to me.

To my knowledge, no one in the family continued making those cakes after my mother passed, so I took it upon myself to learn how. What I thought was a simple task turned out to be very complicated, and I suddenly had great respect for the reasoning of making the cakes ahead of time. By ahead of time, I mean starting the cakes early the day before serving. It took a VERY long time to put this cake together, and my creation was finally completed at about 10:30 last night. I put about 4 hours into it, all told. If all goes well and it doesn't suck, I will, in all likelihood, make it again for the holidays, but will make it with prune and apricot filling.

In researching Polish Easter traditions, I came across some practices that I had forgotten. For example, I had completely forgotten that we used to take our filled Easter baskets to church to have the priest bless them. This practice is called Swieconka. Baskets were filled with cakes, fruits and candy. Also, the coloring and writing on the eggs is still practiced today. The eggs which are painted in one color are called "malowanki" or "kraszanki". If patterns are etched with a pointed instrument on top of the paint, the eggs are then called "skrobanki" or "rysowanki". The eggs decorated with the use of treated wax are called "pisanki".

Later on today, we will be having a baked ham for dinner, complete with sweet potatoes, creamed spinach, peas and carrots, and whole kernel corn. I suppose I should make some biscuits or cornbread to go with it, but honestly, after cooking last night and this morning's breakfast treats, I feel like I've done enough. Oh, the verdict on the poppy seed cake? Thumbs up!

Nazdrowie'

Packzi Puta

The Rain, The Park and Other Things

Anyone who was around at the end of the 1960's or early 1970's, will recognize the title of today's entry as a song by the Cowsills. The Cowsills was a family singing group from that era. I think of that song every time we have had weird weather that prevents me from getting outside and doing what I want to do, namely going to the park or riding my bike. We've had so much strange weather this year. I really hope it goes to being blistering hot soon, like it's supposed to. The family and I have been wanting to go ride our bikes at what we lovingly call "The Greenway", which is a strip of bicycle path, 2 1/2 miles long at this writing, which winds along the Wolf River. There was a time, a couple of years ago, when we went riding every evening. Last year, I couldn't make it even a quarter of the way.

When we were going regularly, I was feeling strong... stronger than I had in a long time. I wasn't working outside the home at the time, but was spending most of my time getting healthy. (That was undone last year when I got this lung thing, but I digress.) We would use our daily bike rides as our cardio exercise, and boy, was it! The trail we ride isn't a straight shot. It's a long, winding, up and downhill asphalt trail. There are several hills that are hard for me to get up, and one that is impossible if you're not ready for it. Well guess what! I'm not. At the time, it took me several weeks before I was able to get up that last hill, and it wasn't without extreme effort on my part. That hill just wasn't gonna lay down and die for me. I had to work up speed from the two previous hills, and even though my quads were screaming by then, I had to push them even harder. Making it to the top was always an accomplishment. I was always the last one to make it up the hill, and was always the last one to meet back at the truck afterward. Sometimes, Steve would go further than than the allotted 2 1/2 miles. I wish I were strong enough to do that. I'll be glad just to make a mile the first time.

Along the path, there was always something of nature to witness. I remember the time the boys saw a bobcat on the other side of the river, and the time I almost ran over what I thought was a stick on the path until it moved! God, I hate snakes. Last year, I knew there was something wrong when I couldn't go very far on our rides. Once I even had to turn around very close to where we parked and go back. It wasn't long afterward when I was diagnosed with this lung thing. Even though I'd love to go riding, I realize it may not be possible for a while. I wish I didn't do everything as if a marathon was riding on it. I'd like to go riding just for the fun of it. But there's no where to go riding just for the "fun" of it. It's not like when we were young, and we could go riding in our neighborhoods, testing out the newly laid asphalt, racking up the miles as we sped back and forth. I'm not sure my lungs would hold out. I'm not sure my thighs would hold out.

Why is it everything I do has to have a "purpose" associated with it. When did we forget how to play? I haven't played in so long that I really don't remember how. I guess being a mother has made me forget. I've been making sure the boys have a good time for years. Maybe it's time I started having a good time too. Maybe when it gets warm, I can get Steve to take me paddleboating on the lake some weekend. I miss the years when we used to take Rebel (our black and tan coonhound, now long passed) to the park for "off the leash" hours. Rebel would howl all the way into the park, and people would point and laugh at him. But people loved him. He was a good dog, and made friends at the park easily.

Steve and I also used to take weekend morning walks at the park, taking the long trail (3 1/2 miles) from one end of the park to the other, where it winds back into itself and back to the parking lot. We would bring a couple of water bottles with us, and they were usually gone within minutes of returning. Steve was running at the time, and although I could never run, I never begrudged him his time with himself. I just trudged along as best I could, with my short little legs hauling me around. There was a time in my life when I used to go walking with a girlfriend every evening. The friend has long since moved away, never to be heard from again, and I never got my love of walking back. I was pregnant with Rhys when I had to stop; for some reason, that pregnancy just didn't sit right with me for walking. I always had a stitch in my side and had to stop early on.

I miss the times when my body would obey my mind and move freely and gracefully. The years of damage and disease are taking their toll. I do the best I can just to make it from one day to the next, trying to keep my mind sharp in the process. I keep trying to learn new things. After all, why would I want to keep doing the same things over and over? Didn't Einstein say that was the definition of insanity? I struggle now with giving myself new challenges that actually spark my interest. I want hobbies and I want to play. Anyone want to join me?

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

Speak ENGLISH!

I was sent this in e-mail and thought I would post it. I have always loved Bill Cosby and his common sense.

'They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.

I can't even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk...

And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English

except these knuckleheads.

You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap

coming out of your mouth.

In fact you will never get any kind of job

to make a decent living.

People marched and were hit in the face

with rocks to get an Education, and now

We've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up

their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting.

They are buying things for kids.

$500 sneakers for what?

And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.

Where were you when he was 2?

Where were you when he was 12?

Where were you when he was 18 and how come

you didn't know that he had a pistol?

And where is the father?

Or who is his father?

People putt their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward,

pants down around the crack,

isn't that a sign of something?



Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress

all the way up and got all type of needles

[piercing] going through her body?

What part of Africa did this come from??

We are not Africans.

Those people are not Africans;

they don't know a thing about Africa...

I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.

I was born here, and so were my parents and grandparents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany, Scotland, England, Ireland, or the Netherlands. The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa. So stop, already! ! !


With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed

and all of that crap ..... and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.

We have to take the neighborhoods back.

People used to be ashamed.

Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.

(Babydaddy)

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.

Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids,

you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.

We cannot blame the white people any longer.'

Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.



WELL SAID, BILL

It's NOT about color...

It's about behavior!!!

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

Sacrifices

As I was going over some pictures and funeral home prayer cards yesterday (a favor I am doing for the "lost" portion of my family with the same last name), I had a good cry and reflected on the effects of my life decisions. I have decided to share a few of them here. I have been persecuted by members of my birth family for these decisions, and they don't even know the reasons for my decisions.

First, my decision not to turn my father in to authorities for abusing me:

This decision was not made lightly. I knew that my father would be thrown in jail, and maybe killed there, as a result of his actions toward me. My mother would be left without an income. My brothers and sisters not yet of legal age would be sent off to live with other relatives or foster homes. They would not know each other, or would not want to know each other (as in the case of my mother's brother, Joe). Their lives would be irretrievably broken. I left them to my parents' devices and, as my husband and I have often remarked, they were willing followers of my father's indulgences. So my early life was sacrificed so that the rest of you could have all the advantages and you could go on with your lives.

Second, my decision to leave home at the age of 18, never to return:

I had to get away from the abuse. I was the family scapegoat, so they would have to find someone else to take the abuse. I'm sure chores were dealt out after I left, and I'm positive that my brothers and sisters were told to never have anything to do with me again. Thanks Mom and Dad. This is how someone who is "different" was treated in my household. I didn't just sit there and take it. I left to save my sanity. I was doing all the chores (well, not all, because my next sister did some), AND working full time, AND making the meals, AND being abused by my father, AND paying rent... I could do better somewhere else. You cannot possibly understand the betrayal I suffered at the hands of my parents and now from my siblings. And also, it is impossible for anyone to understand how heart-wrenching it is to make that decision... to walk away... and to know that you will never have a relationship with any of them again, unless you have walked that walk.

Third, my decision to tell the truth about my father:

It was time for all the pretense to stop. If I am to go forward with MY life, I had to tell the truth. My birth family doesn't like it, but that's not my problem. I know the truth and so do they. They could not possibly understand that kind of betrayal.

Fourth, my decision to not keep up with birthdays, etc.:

I used to call, send cards and send gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I used to call for Easter and Thanksgiving. That all stopped one year when I made slippers for every last person in my family and not one of them even let me know that the package had arrived. I made 35 pairs of slippers. It took me 4 months. Not even one acknowledgment. I wasn't looking for a thank you... just "it arrived". I decided that I would never do it again and I haven't. I don't keep up with your birthdays and won't be writing any more cards at Christmas. I'm not bitter, just realistic.

There are people who read my blog who have been extremely abusive toward me because I chose to write the truth... a truth they didn't "want to hear" or know.
Let me say this to them:

You had all the advantages that I didn't have, as a result of my life being sacrificed for yours. As one of you pointed out to me, you have the education, you have the career, etc., and I don't. And you are right... about the education. Everything I have ever had to learn for my career is something that I had to learn on the fly... on the job... and I had to teach it to myself because I couldn't afford the money or the time away from my kids to go to school. I have an IQ of 141, and learn VERY quickly. Without the paper behind my name, it has been difficult. However, my career and life experience DOES count in place of a degree. I have always had a job up until the last few months, when it was decided for me (by God) that I could not do the physical aspects of my job any longer. I have been in the process of changing gears and working toward a "sit-down" aspect of my profession... software programming. I highly doubt that any of you who have been so judgmental of me could do what I am doing.

As for the comments made to me about my sanity:

I am not mentally ill. That has been proven for me and my family over and over again. I doubt that any of my siblings would be as sane as I, given the same circumstances. I know of other abuses in my birth household and may go into those at a later time. But for right now, I won't. And to my brother-in-law Mike, I would like to say this: Thank God you were always in my sister's life. I know for a fact that if you had not been there, she was next on my father's list.

For those of you who have turned your backs on us/me:

You don't know me, and you don't know my family. My husband and I have decided to go with the rest of our lives with the knowledge that we will not be seeing most of you again. It works no hardship on us. If ever there comes a day when you want to get to know me, I hope I'm still around and am open to it. But life moves at an extraordinarily fast pace and I will not waste one more minute of it. When my husband and I move to our new house, we won't leave a forwarding address or phone. When I or my husband passes away, most of you will not even be told. We are going to have very VERY private services and only people who have kept in touch with us will be invited to come. Our ashes will be spread at a private location and only those we choose will know where.

Congratulations. You've lost a sister, aunt and friend.

Nazdrovie'

Paczki Puta

Snow Casualty or "Why We Should Build a Room Onto Our House"

We got hit by a freak snowstorm yesterday and awoke to 9 inches of snow on the ground and everything in sight. A nice ending to the month of February but really freaky, since it was 70 degrees 2 days ago, and we expect to see 70 degrees later this week. What could be really upsetting is that not only is the south not ready for this type of weather, but there was nothing we could do to prevent the destruction that awaited us this morning.

We have a canopy over the patio in the backyard.

Correction: We HAD a canopy.

The weight of the snow weighed down the canvas and bent the bars holding the canvas up. The result is an inverted canopy with lots of snow and ice still on it. Fortunately, we are not panicking about it. Casualties are to be expected during weather of this kind. I related to the boys how the roofs of shopping centers have been known to collapse under this kind of weight, and that we were lucky to have escaped serious damage to our house and garage. In fact, we were fortunate not to lose power and heat.

Memphis is known to be ill-prepared for any type of extreme weather. We lose power in the cold, in the heat, during storms, and for no reason at all. We had an ice storm here February 11, 1994 and it collapsed trees onto power lines. We lost power and heat, but we were lucky. We were only out of power for 40 hours. The rest of the city and suburbs were out for up to 3 weeks. When we found out the extent of the damage from that storm, Steve and I traversed the mangled city streets to get to where he works to borrow a generator. We were able to run 3 things from the generator. We alternated between the tv, lights, heat and the refrigerator. The Winter Olympics were on tv, and we sat watching them, while I made sweaters for the boys with my knitting machine. I made sweaters for both of them during that storm, and when the boys outgrew them, I put them safely away in the attic as memories.

Another storm gave us straight-line winds that toppled several thousand hundred-year-old trees in the city, and took down 2 of our own trees. Again, the city streets were a snarled mess. We were fortunate to escape that storm without damage to our vehicles. Down the street, a neighbor wasn't as lucky. Their large tree rested in the middle of their smashed car, right in front of their house. If the tree had fallen the other way, it would have collapsed their roof. Again we were out of power, but the weather was warm that time, so we could do without a generator for the most part. But we drove to West Memphis to take our showers at my husband's mother's house. The area has still not quite recovered from those winds. The forest at Shelby Farms looked as if a buzz saw had cut off the tops of the trees.

So back to our canopy. This is the second time we have lost a canopy over that patio. Since we tiled over the old broken concrete, the time may soon be arriving when we will put up a solid roof and walls there. It would be a nice addition to the house, and would add a weather-proof path to our workout room (garage) as well as about 200 more square feet. We could add a free-standing fireplace to the room or a hot tub, and my plants would have a nice sunny place to grow without taking up all the floor space in the rest of the house.

Or we could just move.

Nazdrovie'

Paczki Puta