You Gotta Learn to Laugh

After a relatively sleepless night, in which my mind went restlessly over who I should torture in Mafia Wars and how to strettttttch those last few energy points, I was awakened by that human torture device, the alarm clock, set to 4:30am so my husband could make his daily jaunt into corporate America. Today is going to be my feel-good day... the day in which I find affordable health care for less money that we have been paying for the last 20 years, the day when I make Adwords work for our businesses, and the day that I finalize some orders so I can get paid next week. With the economy in such a downturn and my family feeling the pinch, I have reached out to some friends for some laughter and comraderie, and they have responded in droves.

One good friend sent me this:

Things to do when you're bored at Wal-Mart

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 2. Put M&M's on layaway. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. 4. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10." 5. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 6.Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms. 7. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 8. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 9. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 10. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you floss your teeth. 11. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 12. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 13. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 14. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest rooms. 15. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible." 16. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 17. Sit on a chair and read a book for hours. 18. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse, say things like "pick me! pick me!!" 19. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 20. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. And last, but not least... 21. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud... "Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"

I just HAD to laugh at the last one. There have been times that I really had to wonder what was going on in those dressing rooms from some of the sounds and smells coming out of them.

Seriously though, today I am going to find a way to make the businesses pay off like they've never paid before. That's going to take a lot of research, and a lot of brainpower that I don't possess after a sleepless night. It's at times like these that I wish I still smoked. Caffeine and nicotine... the two major food groups. Since I don't do that anymore, I have to find another way to awaken my sleepy brain and get something productive done. The boys will start back to class at the end of next week, so I will reclaim all that time as my own and possibly (finally) be able to get some things done around the house. There is still a buttload of wallpaper to strip, as well as 10 coats of paint to come off the woodwork in the dining room, and generally bringing this house into a more modern era than "Early 20th Century Rent House". It's an exaggeration, but there's a lot that needs work. I'm sure a renewed vigor will hit me once the guys are back in class and not hanging around the house all day every day.

So what's happening next... what's on the horizon... ? I don't know. But whatever it is, I'm going to be looking at it with a child's wonder because if I've learned anything from all the problems this country is experiencing, it's that "You gotta learn to laugh. It's the path to true love." (John Travolta as "Michael")

Music playing... coffee in hand... it's time to get started.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

So How's The Exercise Program Going?

I just peeked in here and realized I had not written in a couple of weeks. I guess the pull of daily life got a little stronger lately.

I have had a lot of things hit me lately, and am trying to figure out how I used to do this dance of cleaning house, running all the errands, doing laundry, ironing, mending, cooking, shopping, raising two children AND holding down a full-time job. As I get older (and weaker), I realize it's no mean feat! How in the WORLD did I do all that? By myself? Are you kidding me??? Nowadays, the boys help me out with a lot of it, but dayum... I didn't realize there was SO much to do. I have an upcoming visit from my aunt and uncle at the end of this month, and now the heat is on! I know they don't care about how things are in my house, but *I* care. I'd like to have the hallway finished by the time they get here, and have some of the clutter organized. I have been in the "Let's get rid of all this clutter" mode, but there is so much of it, especially since I got sick 6 years ago. My health has gone up and down since then, and it's become painfully evident that I can't do everything I used to be able to do, and that things have gone to pot.

But I digress...

We have been working on stripping the paint off the woodwork in the hallway so we can redecorate. We have lived in this house for the past 20 years, and have never redecorated. With raising the family and working, there was just never time or energy to do it. So I'm doing it all a little at a time with the guys' help. Last weekend we started stripping the paint in the hallway. This weekend (if they ever wake up... since it's raining, they're all still in bed) I want to finish that chore. Then we can sand... then prime... then paint. We did the study already (did that when I came home from Chicago in November). In the meantime, Rocky has decided to start tearing up the blinds in the dining room, so I will have to replace some of the slats today, along with everything else I have to do. Bless Steve... he works so hard during the week and only has the weekends to rest, and I make him either go on a bike ride or help out with these extra chores. I try not to overtax him, but he does everything at 200 miles per hour, so it's hard to make him slow down. Case in point... when we (and by "we" I mean Steve and I) started on the hallway last weekend, I wanted to just take it slowly and do a little at a time. He started putting stripper on all the doorways, not realizing how much work was involved in the scraping and sanding. So we pushed really hard to get it done, and all the refuse cleaned up before the dogs or cats could eat it. And they would have. Needless to say, it didn't all get done, and the hallway looks like it has cancer. Today, I'm going at it slower, whether he likes it or not. There's something to be said about working with your hands at a slow rate, focusing on quality rather than quantity.

I also have to work on the aquarium. It sprung a leak in the last few weeks, and I have to figure out where the leak is, patch it up and get a new glass top for it. Ugh... when do I have time for work? Oh wait... this blog was supposed to be about my workouts. That's going all right, I guess. With everything else coming at me, who can tell? I get up in the morning, have two cups of coffee, have some oatmeal, and then MAKE myself do my weight training. Or my yoga, if it's one of those days when I wake up in pain. Weight training is getting easier though. Okay, not easier. I'm sweating up a storm while doing it. I added a couple of extra exercises yesterday, so that's a good thing. But I'm still weaker than a newborn kitten. Okay, so maybe not THAT weak. But I'm a whole lot weaker than I used to be, when I used to go at this with guns blazing. I'm becoming aware that maybe I'm not as young as I used to be. But I'm trying. Watching The Biggest Loser this week put my mind right again, so my nutrition is back where it needs to be. Yeah, yeah, I know... The Biggest Loser is an unsafe program and not realistic for anyone who doesn't live on a ranch, all expenses paid, with nothing to do but eat and workout 8 hours a day. It's not that. I can identify with the pain the contestants have been through that got them in their present state of dis-ease. That helped me to get my focus back.

So how much weight have I lost? Practically none, if that's what my gauge is. But it's not. I'm all about gaining strength so I can get through the last third of my life without having to have someone help me lift a bag of groceries. And I want to be able to tend my garden out in the country. Yes, you heard it here first. We are moving to the country in the next two years. I have picked out a community that's about 30 miles east of here, and I love it out there. No water really, but lots and lots of fresh air. My doctor wants me to have lots of it. And I don't think civilization will catch up for a while. It's far enough that I will have to travel for about 20 minutes before I find a grocery store. We are looking for about 10 acres. That will give me enough space to have a vegetable garden, plant fruit trees and bushes, and landscape a flower garden with a path and bench (I've always wanted to do that). And most of all, I can BREATHE!!! Those of you who don't have trouble breathing have no idea how much cleaner the air is in the country. Once I get out there, I don't want to come back in the city for ANYthing. I'm afraid I might miss a bunny or squirrel.

Anyway... the crew is stirring, so I guess I'd better make breakfast. Oatmeal with raisins. Yeah, I know... but it's healthy.

Nazdrowie'

Paczki Puta

Various Stages of Disarray

In the process of purging my life of negativity and replacing it with positive energy, I decided it was finally time to start replacing carpet in the house. Coming up with money for this project is difficult at best. We have decided to start with the room I used to call my bedroom. This room is being made into an office, so we can have all our work-related activities in one area of the house, instead of having it spread throughout.

The first major hurdle (that of convincing my husband to let go of the money needed for this project) has been accomplished. We have found a nice indoor/outdoor carpet at a carpeting outlet, and they will install it for us at the whopping price of $400 inclusive (this is my Christmas present). Finding a decent/livable carpet for a good price (installed of course) was a hurdle in itself. Do you know how much carpet costs these days? There's no way we could afford to do the rest of the house right now. Not to mention the disarry (hence the title of this article) that would ensue in the rest of the house.

Just to give you an idea of exactly what it is going to take to make this ONE room happen...

First of all, we had to remove the mattresses from the bedroom I am now sleeping in. Then the newer mattresses (purchased for me when I got sick) had to be moved to the bedroom and the old ones disposed of. All the bedding had to be cleaned (I seemed to have picked up some allergies to certain fibers now) or replaced. I still have to repair the bed ruffle (today, I promise).

The hide-a-bed had to be re-assembled into a couch, which meant we had to find the hardware for it, put the old sofa mattress back in it and fold it up. That hide-a-bed has never been easy to put back together, but for some reason, it went back in remarkably well.

Now comes the real carnage...

We had the room measured and now we have a firm date of November 25, before noon, for installation of the new carpet. What that means is that we have to move everything out of the room (into the living room, no doubt), tear up the old carpet and pad so I can clean the concrete with bleach (to remove any organisms that decided to take up residency) and paint the walls and ceiling. I also have to arrange for the internet cabling to be moved that afternoon, so our main access point is in that room. I am hoping to have that appointment scheduled for Tuesday afternoon, after the carpeting is installed.

Another point that is going to have to be addressed is the moving of our 55-gallon aquarium. It is going into the recessed area of the new office, which was once reserved for our entertainment center and all the accumulated dust bunnies that have manifested themselves behind it. The aquarium is now full of water, rocks, plants and fish, and it will take some doing to get it all dismantled, cleaned and moved, and then re-assembled successfully in the chosen spot. I figure it will take 3 days minimum for that alone.

The computer desk(s), file cabinets, etc., will all have to be moved into the office and set back up. All plants have to be pruned and/or re-potted, and any repairs to the sofa will have to be made.

The sofa is going into the living room, where I hope to once again have a conversation area for the family to gather in, and a place for us to have our movie nights. (Usually Sunday night is reserved for whatever movie we have decided to watch, complete with soft drinks and popcorn.) I am dearly looking forward to that again.

When, you ask, is all of this to be done by? Thanksgiving... yeah RIGHT!!! I'm hopeful that some of these things can be done ahead of time, like dismantling the aquarium. I have to wash all the pea gravel that is in it along with the rocks and plants before I can put it all back in. The water that is now in the aquarium will have to discarded, and the eco-system will have to be rebuilt over a period of about a week. I have a place for the fish... an older (smaller) aquarium I kept just for this purpose.

Once all of this is done, it will be time for us to decorate for Christmas, and get on with the bustle that comes along with the holidays. I am also looking for a job at this time. (I'm feeling strong enough to handle it, I think.)

What a mess... pray for me... pray that it all goes according to plan, and pray that we make it through this with our sanity intact.

Nazdovie'

Paczki Puta